Humor

Broadway Characters Ready to Receive the Covid-19 Vaccine

Nat Hrvatin
Apr 21 · 2 min read

God, I hope I get it.

Photo by Kyle Head on Unsplash

“In the coming weeks, New York City will open dedicated Covid-19 vaccination sites on Broadway for the theater industry, with a mobile vaccination unit dedicated to off-Broadway workers. These sites will be staffed by veteran theater industry workers.” — TheaterMania, 3.25.2021

Velma Kelly — Chicago
Come on babe, why don’t we vaccinate the town?
With all that Pfizer.
I’m going to bare my arm and roll my shirt sleeve up,
For all that Pfizer.

Start the car, I know a medical spot
Where instead of gin, you get a different shot
It’s just an empty theatre, filled with out of work actors
Gettin’ ready for Pfi-zerrrrrr.

Mary Poppins
It’s….pain and redness, swelling, headache, muscle pain, and chills.
Even though the sound of it won’t likely give you thrills.
However, vaccine side effects are much easier to face,
Than having a full blown symptomatic coronavirus case!

A Chorus Line Ensemble
God, I hope I get it.
A vaccine appointment,
How many people can they take? (How many people can they take?)
Will this online queue ever end? (Will this online queue ever end?)

Alexander Hamilton
I am not gonna miss my shot.
I am not gonna miss my shot.
Hey yo, I’m just like my calendar,
I’m organized, prepped, and sure
That I am not gonna miss my shot.

Eva Perón — Evita
Don’t cry for me, anti-vaxxers,
The truth I’m sick of my apartment.
All through my prime acting days
My social isolation
I’ve kept my promise
to keep my distance.

Millie Dillmount — Thoroughly Modern Millie
I’m getting outta my house!
So hug a nurse, cause here comes
Thoroughly Moderna Millie now!

Lion King Ensemble
Heeeeerddddd immunity!
Protects us from infectious disease.
Our bodies createeeeeee antibodies,
so we can return to normalcy.

Grizabella — Cats
Touch me, no seriously touch me,
I haven’t had any physical contact,
In well over a year,
In two weeks, you won’t have to worry at all,
Unless you are allergic…to cats.

Annie
Broadway will return,
tomorrow!
Bet your immunized ass,
that tomorrow,
there’ll be shows!

Always looking for the better joke

Nat Hrvatin

Written by

Nat Hrvatin is a writer, educator, and performer from Cleveland, Ohio. Website: nathrvatin.com

Greener Pastures Magazine

Greener Pastures is a comedy and satire site run by a bunch of writers obsessed with out-writing, out-joking and out-funnying each other.

Nat Hrvatin

Written by

Nat Hrvatin is a writer, educator, and performer from Cleveland, Ohio. Website: nathrvatin.com

Greener Pastures Magazine

Greener Pastures is a comedy and satire site run by a bunch of writers obsessed with out-writing, out-joking and out-funnying each other.

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