Humor
“Does Hand Sanitizer Remove Blood Stains?”
And other musings from Lady Macbeth’s diary during the pandemic.
May 13, 2020: HOME SWEET HOME
Being quarantined with my Thane and our cadre of bone-headed servants for many a fortnight got me thinking about how miserable I am living in a castle. It’s so cold and full of terrors. I’d like to move, but no matter how hot the housing market is, no one is going to pay top dollar for a 1,000 plus-year-old property with no central heating and a moat pump that needs to be completely replaced. I may very well be marooned here for eternity paying for raven removal each winter.
July 5, 2020: CHILDHOOD REGRETS
I wish my mother hath allowed me to participate in more after-school activities; a good start would have been allowing me to attend school at all. Perhaps I would have enjoyed playing soccer (my quads have been vastly underutilized) instead of spending hours hiding in my father’s library studying the best ways to poison a monarch. Organic hemlock isn’t even sold at local farmer’s markets anymore! What a waste of talent, time, and my servants’ extra appendages.
