Humor
Gone Phishing Security App Training.
Required ASAP
Thank you for downloading Lockbox Saferooms’ mandatory security training program on Phishing. Phishing is a lovely word, not spelled with an “F” (think of the band you pretend is vintage, but you listened to as a kid. We know because we have your birthdate.)
Phishing is a varied and fun collection of social engineering attacks that can steal your information as well as your company’s. The Phisher (see what I did there?) stands to profit, potentially quite a lot.
Don’t mind that your computer might be slowing down right now. That’s normal. Yes, first type in your company email address and password. Good work. Now sit closer to the camera and open your eyes wide. Good work.
The three hours of training will be divided into easy 45-second chunks. You got this! We recommend that you go to the bathroom before getting started. Be sure to leave your car and house keys in their respective locks, too. You won’t need them for the training. Also, we see you’re snacking on some cookies. Can you leave those with the keys, too?
You must watch each video and click various buttons every three seconds. You cannot close or minimize any of the related screens. You cannot change the audio speed. If you try to open other screens and multi-task, your computer will crash. If you get up to refill your coffee or scream into a pillow, your computer will catch on fire.
Have you watched the videos? If yes, great, now onto the quiz!
1. If you receive an email from a stranger saying that they have your boss’s dog, even if you’ve never heard a bark on a Zoom call, and you owe them ransom immediately, should you send them your credit card information? Include your credit card information here.
2. If you receive a phone call asking for your Social Security number to save your late brother’s life, should you give it out? If the answer is yes, please share the number here. If the answer is no, share it here so we can keep it safe.
3. What numbers and letters am I thinking of? (Yes, it is your email password. Please share it here.)
Each of these attempts is called Phisburgering because, yes, you wish you were eating a burger instead of taking this quiz. Please note that tomorrow you will be tested in a timed, oral spelling quiz in two languages on all the types of phishing that will deplete your account in the 48 hours it takes to complete the quiz.
Thank you for helping us here at Lockbox Saferooms. We look forward to your payment for continuing to work here. Just drop off the cash in an envelope on top of the ATM that is now positioned in your front yard. Be sure to put your ATM card into the machine and type in your code for the cash. You won’t need the card afterward so you can leave it there.
Don’t mind the person who will be taking a mold of your fingerprints. He tested negative for Covid.
Wishing you all the best,
B0B
