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Good Girl, Aggie! (№3)
Dog Columnist Answers Your Toughest Year End Questions
Dear Aggie,
I want to buy a gift for my mother’s pooch Snowball, but she has so many toys already! What do you get for the Pomeranian that has everything?
Sincerely,
Muddled in Montana
Dear Muddled,
First off, thank you for thinking of the four-footed members of your extended family. Too often we are passed over during gift-giving season despite being the Best Doggie in the Entire World. This is very doggist, and if we had opposable thumbs or credit cards, we wouldn’t stand for it. Alas.
Pomeranians are little, squeaky dogs, and they love little squeaky toys. Purchasing a few would be a safe — but not exciting — present. But I think you’re looking for something with a lot of ‘wow’ factor. In that case, get Snowball some cat poop. I guarantee nobody else is getting anything like that for Snowball.
And before you get all high and mighty about how gross cat poop is, may I remind you that humans pay a lot of money to drink coffee beans that come out of Civet butts. At least we get our cat poop for free.
Aggie
