Humor
I Kondo’d my Condo, and Instead of Sparking Joy, the Tidiness Drove Me to Madness
I have nothing left in my life that I can control.
Welcome to my Xanadu of emptiness! This is my home where you can see nothing because I Kondo’d my condo the Kondo way. I followed her rulebook. She asked me to commit to tidying. I did. I committed. I tidied up. Only to lose everything I owned because nothing sparked joy. Six rules and I find my clothes are gone, my books are gone, my sentimental items are gone, my tv is gone, my soul is gone! Even the button to factory reset my life is gone. Kondo-ing made my condo Instagrammably Instagrammable, but it also made it thing-less, furniture-less, and traumatically joyless. Now this tidiness is making me delirious.
Look at my bedroom here. So clean, so pristine, so white, and so empty. Don’t you want to hug the walls because all I have are walls now? There are no beds, no pillows, no mattresses, and no sheets. I followed her instructions and discarded what didn’t spark joy, which included everything in this room. It feels aristocratically bohemian, but I sleep on the floor now, and my chakras fall out of my spine every night.
I tidied up my wardrobe. I piled up all my clothes into a mountain. Just as guided. I put each item through the Kondo…
