Humor
I Think There’s a Gas Leak in our Third Grade Classroom Because it’s Definitely Not Me Farting.
Gas leaks are silent but deadly killers
You need to get that checked out, Principal Boris.
Hi Principal Boris! I wanted to come talk to you to report a gas leak in the school, from, like, a pipe and definitely not my butt.
I think the leak is somewhere near my class, Mrs. Norbert’s third-grade room, because we were all smelling it a lot today. It smelled like rotten eggs and that lemon chicken that my mom made for dinner last night.
I think it would comfort everyone to know that it was just a leaky pipe that needed fixing and not anything more embarrassing, I mean serious.
When did it start? Umm..I’m not positive but I think it was right after our pizza reward lunch. I remember I was leaning to my side to cough when Willow Franklin-McGee said she smelled something. She thought it was me farting, but, as I said, I was just coughing loudly and leaning my body to the side so that I didn’t get my cough germs on anyone. I must be coming down with something.
If you could look into this before Mrs. Norbert talks to my mom I would appreciate it.
Why is she talking to my mom? Oh, well, you see, she has this completely ludicrous idea that I am lactose intolerant or something like that. Obviously, she’s just trying to get back at me for that prank someone hilariously pulled off with the praying mantis on her “We Welcome All Religions” poster. Which also wasn’t me by the way.
Listen, Boris, I’ll level with you. I can tell you’re a man who likes his cheese. I too am a man who likes his cheese.
Okay, a boy who likes his cheese, then. And if Mrs. Norbert talks to my mom, it’s game over for me on all things creamy and delicious.
Plus, you and I both know that I am not intolerant of lactose, I’m quite tolerant, heck, I’d even say I’m a lactose enthusiast!
And when was this school even built, in the 90s? There’s gotta be a leaky pipe here and there.
Just take this crisp five-dollar bill, you know, for the plumber. *Wink!*
Oh no, hold on I have to cough. *COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH*
No, wait, who are you calling?
MOM ITS A LEAKY PIPE!!! A LEAKY PIPE!!!
