HUMOR
I Thought I’d Be Reincarnated as a Baseball Player, but I Came Back as a Dish Towel
The only home plate I ever see is the one that’s not dishwasher safe.
I lived a good and decent life. I adopted a dog from a shelter, volunteered at a soup kitchen every December, and built benches for my Eagle Scout project.
My children stayed by my side in hospice care. My wife said she’d refuse to remarry because she’d never find a more perfect husband.
I paid my taxes on time, supported the arts, and bought Thin Mints every year.
So, yeah, my life was set up for a perfect reincarnation into one I always wanted, a baseball player. But instead, I came back as a dish towel.
I dreamed of being a home run hero when I was younger. I played baseball in high school, tried out for my college team, and became an ardent Texas Rangers fan.
I loved everything about America’s pastime. From “Hammerin’” Hank to Randy “The Big Unit” Johnson to Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez, I soaked it up. I kept base of every stat of every player from 1965 onward.
My two sons played through college. My daughter was a starting pitcher on her office softball team. You could say the baseball gene had a great run…
