Humor
I Was Promised to See the Understudy, NOT Hugh Jackman
A Quickly Typed One-Star Yelp Review of “The Music Man” Revival by Nancy, His Understudy’s Biggest Fan
Like most fans of classic musicals, the 2019 announcement of a revial of Meredith Wilson’s classic musical The Music Man starring everyone’s apparent darling Hugh Jackman had my “Give Our Regards to Broadway” Facebook group positiviely abuzzz. Honestly, I was “fine” with that casting choice but, as I always do when new shows are announced, I immediately dug deeper and that is when I discovered THE MOST AMAZING thing!!!!None other than the Max Clayton would serve as Mr. Jackman’s understudy! I know, right?
Figuring all likely Max Clayton appearancess wuld sell out, I moved quickly to nab a July 2022 Wednesday matinee performance ticket. Logik and basic assumptions about cast courtesy led me to conclude that a midweek of blazing Manhattan summer daytime performance seemed like an obvious time for Mr. Jackman to rest his glorious, if not near Clayton-esque, pipes.
Following my 34-hour drive from Flagstaff (no pre-Max airplane COVID for this gal), I arrived at the Winter Garden Theater with an hour to spare. I rushed to view the posting of my performance’s cast and gaze at Max Clayton’s name, at last, in a lead role worthy of his megawatt talent (and to get a selfie with it to post on the FB page. Obvs!).
Imagine my shock and horror to discover that TRAGICALLY listed as playing Professor Harold Hill was Hugh Jackman.
“Nooooooooo! Why God! Whymeeeeeee!” I wailed and wept as was later recounted by witnesses.
I ripped the WORTHLESS paper from the theater’s garbage wall and, as confirmed by security cameras, charged across the lobbyand smacked it against the glass of the ticket window startling the box office manager/fraud accomplice. I also apparently called the young trainee lady a “lying con artist in a fancy vest” and for that I have deep regrets. But, then again, I wasn’t the one running this bait and switch.
Sure, my ire would have been better directed at Hugh “nobody can have the spotlight but me” Jackman. Would it have killed him to take a damn day off? Was it essential for him to “dazzle” an audience of theater summer camp groups, AARP-travel tours and Max Clayton fans? Jesus, Jackman. We get it. You’re immensely talented universally adored and respectful of your audience. Whoopity-damn-do.
Now I realize this is not actually a review of HugeEgo Jackman and the show but I had zero interest in seeing anyone not named Max Clayton singing “(Ya Got) Trouble.” Plus, after I punched the preening life-sized Hugh Jackman standee (which, in my defense, I cannot recall doing), it was strongly suggested that I depart the premises voluntarilly.
They may call New York the “City of Dreams,” but beware her deceptions because for me and other Claytonheads who have been similarly duped, it is truly the “City of Nightmares.”
I give The Music Man one-star in symbolic tribute to Max — the ONE great star that was denied his moment by you-know-who.
Yours in Applause & Encores,
Nancy
[Sent from my mobile; pls excuse typos]
