Is This Production Team Just Sloppy, or Is There an Active Shooter Outside?
Every American’s worst nightmare, next to being an audience member at a game show taping
Say, does this PA suffer from epilepsy, or did he spill coffee all over set because he’s distraught over the fact that there’s an active shooter outside?
Does the host always talk to the audience for this long about his son’s battle with cancer, or is he stalling because there’s an active shooter outside?
I know LA is notorious for its helicopter noise pollution, but is it possible that I’m hearing more whirring than usual because there is an active shooter outside?
Are these grips just happy to be here, or are they compensating for the overwhelming dread of being brutally murdered by an active shooter outside?
Does the crew always cower and speak in hushed voices when passing through the audience, or are they attempting to muffle their conversation about an active shooter outside?
Is the widely popularized elementary school game “Heads Up 7 Up” a typical staple in the post-filming happenings of television, or is this a lousy, last-minute attempt to distract from the fact that there is an active shooter outside?
Is it common practice to keep stage doors bolted up so as to not disrupt filming, or is security not letting me leave the building to get my diabetes medication from the car because there is an active shooter outside?
Does production always ration out snacks and water from the crew’s craft table, or is it possible that we’ve been here for hours and wouldn’t know because we had our phones collected before taping and therefore are unaware of the fact that local news is broadcasting the story about an active shooter outside?
Are all of the production team members suffering from individual, unrelated losses, or are their blood-curdling wails a symptom of the grief they’re experiencing knowing these are their final moments on earth because there is an active shooter outside?
Huh, is that man who barged in here with an AK-47 some sort of modern take on a disillusioned mascot of anti-gun violence who has been invited here to educate us on gun reform, or is that the active shooter from outside?
Is this show more high-brow than I thought and the bleeding bodies on the floor are a meta-commentary on the dystopian state of the world, or are those just … wait, no that’s definitely real blood… ok I’m bleeding now…
