Humor
It Cookie Month & Cookie Monster Want to Make Sesame Street Great Again
It Cookie Monster and I Am Asking for Your Vote on November 8
Helloooooo. It me. Cookie Monster.
First, me hope everybody have happy Cookie Month. October best month ever!
Cookie Month also mean Election Day is soon and Cookie need your vote. Me run for Attorney General of Sesame Street and need your vote cuz enough is enough.
Why you should vote for Cookie?
You and me know C is for cookie. Lately though, C also for crime. Cookie promise to be tough on crime. Boo crime! No need for the Count to get to three cuz Cookie only give one strike to criminal. My good friend McGruff endorse Cookie. Beside him, who better to take bite out of crime than Cookie? Bwa-ha-ha-ha!
Cookie also take on Big Tech and monopolies. Boo monopolies. Many years ago when Cookie was little, Mr. Hooper, RIP, open bodega and then grow it into general store. Hire many neighbors. Even Bert who nobody else want. Now Amazon offering more product mostly from China and undercutting prices. General store cannot compete and in big trouble. Only so many dill pickles and pickled eggs store can sell. Cookie say that no fair! Cookie stand with Hoopers of community. No fancy pant like Bezos. Bezos maybe reason Hooper dead. Cookie just asking.
Also, homeless problem on Sesame Street more out of control than me on Nabisco tour. Why tax paying citizen need to be yelled at by crazy Grouch living in garbage can? On first day in office, Cookie put Oscar on bus to Hamptons. Let see how Kelly Ripa and Seinfeld deal with him.
By the way, my opponent more fake than Hydrox cookie. That guy never here. He only have post office box on Sesame Street for tax break and now he want to hold office? Gimme a break! Me hear he actually live in same Manhattan apartment complex from “Only Murders in the Building.” Boo Upper West Side.
Unlike opponent, Cookie no interested in culture war. Maybe me no understand it, but how people like Bert and Ernie live their life no business of Cookie. Me understand Sesame Streeters more worried ‘bout crime and price of gas and cookie.
C also stand for certify. When Attorney General, Cookie only certify ballots that pass smell test. This time, Thomas the Tank Engine not gonna dump train full of ballots from other places. Cookie stop the steal next time.
Now, enjoy rest of Cookie Month and remember to vote for Cookie on November 8. Me promise off the hook victory party with every kind of cookie (except Hydrox) and bottomless glasses of milk. Om-nom-nom-nom! Cuz together:
We make Sesame Street days sunny again.
We sweep clouds away again.
We make Sesame Street air (and sidewalk) clean again.
We make Sesame Street safe again.
And
We make Sesame Street great again!
