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Greener Pastures is a comedy and satire site run by a bunch of writers obsessed with out-writing, out-joking and out-funnying each other.

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Humor

Less Discussed Benefits of a 4-day Workweek

Three-day weekends are only the beginning

1 min readApr 11, 2023

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Photo by Gaining Visuals on Unsplash
  • Decreased exposure to small talk.
  • Casual Thursdays.
  • No longer any chance of that weird, overly positive guy in the elevator saying “humpday.”
  • One less sad desk lunch salad in your diet.
  • One more bowl of lunch cereal in your diet.
  • Anxiety relief from fewer meetings during which you might accidentally unleash a one-cheek squeak.
  • Swap 9 hours of poor desk chair posture for 9 hours of engaged sofa fetal positioning.
  • 20% less terrifying Sunday Scaries.
  • More facetime with your mail carrier.
  • More quality time mindlessly scrolling your phone while slouching on your toilet.
  • Find out just why the hell Arby’s opens at 10 a.m. if they don’t serve breakfast.
  • Time to focus on your passion project: napping.
  • Enjoy at least one spoiler-free episode of The Price Is Right.
  • One less office dress code-appropriate outfit to launder.
  • One more day to wear those workplace-inappropriate holey sweatpants before laundering.
  • The return of the ABC Network’s hilarious “TGIT” sitcom lineup.
  • Only 4 days to wait between listenings of Loverboy’s “Everybody’s Working for the Weekend.”
  • Finally get that part time job you desperately need in order to retire.

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Greener Pastures Magazine
Greener Pastures Magazine

Published in Greener Pastures Magazine

Greener Pastures is a comedy and satire site run by a bunch of writers obsessed with out-writing, out-joking and out-funnying each other.

Adam Campbell-Schmitt
Adam Campbell-Schmitt

Written by Adam Campbell-Schmitt

Adam is a writer and editor with years of experience and little to show for it.

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