Humor

Local Hero Finally Gets Inbox Down to Zero

“I’m just a regular guy”

Laura Berlinsky-Schine
Greener Pastures Magazine
2 min readApr 29, 2022

--

Man pointing to laptop screen
Malte Helmhold/Unsplash

Pittsburgh resident Kevin Jones, a 36-year-old pharmaceutical sales representative and Attleboro, Mass. native, made national headlines this week when he got his Gmail inbox down to zero.

Jones’ inbox had sat at approximately 5,302 emails for close to three years, with roughly 77% unread. Jones reported that his girlfriend of six months, 37-year-old Samantha Stuart, left him, citing PTSD from watching him repeatedly receive Meetup invites for San Francisco Seniors’ Topiary Club and let them sit in his inbox for three months.

Stuart was unavailable for comment.

Jones revealed that he carved out an entire Saturday afternoon to accomplish the feat.

“I started by deleting all the Hello Fresh meal offers,” he explained. “I almost always cook my own meals, but the discount seemed like a good deal. But then I had the most insane thought: I wouldn’t actually be saving money by spending money.”

Then, Jones added, he began searching for promotional emails from organizations that didn’t interest him and deleting messages in bulk.

“I unsubscribed from the dispensary in Massachusetts that I only visit when I go home for the holidays,” he added. “They did have a really clever ‘It’s not easy being green’ campaign where they likened weed to Kermit the Frog, but ultimately, it just felt like the best decision for me.”

Despite the praise, Jones remains humble. “I’m just a regular guy,” he said. “But if my story can be an inspiration to others, then so be it. And if the mayor declares today ‘Kevin Jones Day,’ I’m not going to argue. I’m happy to be a role model. That’s what the community really needs — an ordinary man who had a vision and realized he could accomplish it while binging Ozark.”

--

--

Laura Berlinsky-Schine
Greener Pastures Magazine

Writer of words. Mocker of people and things. Dog mom to Hercules. The Rumpus, Points in Case, Weekly Humorist, Slackjaw, Belladonna, etc.