Major Biden Refuses To Endorse Joe Biden
The President’s Dog Delivers Biting Remarks
Joe says I’m Man’s Best Friend? Well, Mr. President, friendship is a two way street.
To answer the question everyone is asking, I am not endorsing Joe in 2024. Neither is Commander.
My reason? For one, Joe used his executive powers to have me castrated. I speak the truth. Joe had me “fixed”? False. Let’s not soften and neuter our words: President Biden ordered my nuts to be removed. After he pulled that trick, there is no way I can recommend folks pull the lever for him in November.
People are lauding the fact that Joe began making biting remarks about his opponent. Paradoxically, he’s not keen on bite marks appearing on Secret Service forearms. Joe can’t have it both ways, in politics it’s called flip-flopping. When not committing verbal gaffes, Joe uses his mouth to attack opponents. That’s no different than me using my mouth to attack someone. Or, like ten burly agents.
Joe’s response to my alleged biting was deporting me to Delaware. Delaware? The only thing that willingly sets up shop in Delaware are LLCs. It’s a tax shelter, not an animal shelter. How can Joe support sensible immigration policy on one hand, and exile his “best friend” on the other?
What they have done to me in Delaware is horrible. They are grooming me, folks. Joe dismissed “groomers” as if they were the creation of some wild conspiracy theorists. They are very real. Next, these savages forced me to get vaxxed!
I’m sure Joe will wave this away, mumbling something about the FDA and the CDC. What about my opinions and feelings? It’s not like I’m going to bite someone and transmit mange or rabies. Well, maybe I will, calf muscle is delicious. But Joe is in DC eating caviar, I’m in Delaware eating dry kibble. Read here, I’m a domestic pet, not a domestic terrorist. Joe needs to call off the Delawarean dogs and stop hiding behind his aviators.
Simple math tells us Joe is not fit to serve: he is almost 600 in dog years.
So, I’m not endorsing Joe. I’m not voting for him either. Because it’s called voter suppression, as in, they won’t even let me enter a polling place. “Major might bite someone. We will put a picture of him on the White House Christmas Card, but keep him away from the ballot box.” Reality bites. But so do I.
I’ll conclude as follows: I’m not endorsing Joe. Yes, dogs can type; and no, I didn’t write this on Hunter’s laptop.
