Humor
New CAPTCHA Tests That Could Help in Everyday Life
Through the wonders of CAPTCHA technology, we prove we’re human by clicking on pictures of crosswalks and railroad tracks. What else could this technology do?
Published in
2 min readJan 11, 2022
- Prove you know how to wear a mask by clicking on all the pictures of noses that are covered by cloth or paper. This one’s hard, so here’s a hint: don’t click on exposed nostrils!
- Demonstrate you’re not an Elon Musk fanboy by clicking on pictures of things he didn’t invent that might still be worth having in the world like bread, books, and condoms.
- If you’re not just pretending to like poetry to impress people, you should easily be able to click on three lines in iambic pentameter.
- Show me you’re not just thinking about fucking me by clicking on three pictures that aren’t my breasts.
- Prove you’re not a libertarian with no idea how anything actually works by clicking on pictures of things you benefit from, including roads, schools, and safe working conditions, that were created by collective action through government.
- Determine if you're a cheese metal fan deep down by clicking on hairdos that you’ve seen in concert.
- Didn’t we just discuss what time to get together like two seconds ago? Uh-huh. Prove you won’t be late by clicking on pictures of clocks showing that time.
- Click on the picture of the nice, easy-to-use credit card to show you won’t take a million years digging for change in the grocery store checkout line.
- Prove you won’t talk obsessively about your pets by clicking on any image that’s NOT a cute, furry animal.
- At the same time, you need to show you’re not unbearably cynical by clicking on pictures of kittens. Yeah, just kittens — cute, wholesome, joy-giving kittens with no irony. You can do it.
- I’m starting to think you might be addicted to your phone. Prove you’re not by clicking on images of things in the world around you, like faces, trees, and the sky. Or just look up.
