Satire
Pandemic Creative Writing Prompts For Parents of Kids Learning Virtually
The Me-Time You Deserve
Prompt: Virtual Elementary School
Write a how-to essay about soaking up water and food coloring from your laptop spilled during the synchronous science experiment. Include these phrases:
Login Failed
Administrator Who Works P/T from Home Can’t Access the Programs from Home
School Core Values: Persistence & Resilience
Email to Mom: Pick up more core values in-person. The building is open to parents on Wednesdays from 8:00–8:04. We refuse to bother Dads, so we’re reminding you.
As you edit the essay, remember to number the steps. There shouldn’t be too many; be as concise and precise as possible. Avoid sarcasm.
Prompt: Vaccines
Write a science fiction story about getting a vaccine appointment. Have you actually met someone who is vaccinated yet? Use your imagination; sometimes they are tall. Words to include: comorbidity, crashed system.Think hard about the narrative structure. What’s the conflict?
Prompt: Screen Time
Today we’re going to try a poem. A poem is about blank space, metaphor and sometimes even silence so you can think. Shape your experience of your child having too much screen time into a lovely image that means something other than what you write. That’s metaphor! You might try wearing your blue light blocking glasses so you can see the screen while you write in the middle of the night after your child is finally fully engaged in an activity: sleep.
Prompt: Birthday Parties
Imagine your child was invited to an indoor birthday party with cake and team building activities that include trust falls, hugs and other nightmares. Don’t base this on Johnny’s invitation that you threw out; try to be original! Can you craft this scene into a concrete poem in the shape of the hospital bill? You might use hand sanitizer to blend some of the words for shading.
Prompt: Free Choice
For this one, write about whether or not you should book a summer camp for your child. Will the numbers be down? What about variants? Try to name them something cute like, “kitty.” Oops. The camp is full. Now think of all the money you’ll save. Be creative and build on last summer’s experience. We just need creative solutions for all of these global problems and writing prompts.
What form should your final piece take? How the hell should I know? Ask me in 2019.
