Humor
QUIZ: Are You Playing in the Super Bowl or Attending Mardi Gras?
Put on Your Fancy Face Mask and Find Out!
1. At the event you are at right now, what is circulating in the crowd around you?
a. Boos
b. Booze
2. Describe the type of ball are you currently throwing.
a. Pigskin
b. Masquerade
3. What is coming straight at you right now?
a. Naked bootleg
b. Naked everything
4. How would you describe your religion?
a. While I do not go to church every Sunday, I still consider myself to be Christian McCaffrey
b. Raging Bacchanalianism
5. In which place are you most likely to apply ice?
a. My groin
b. A Hurricane glass
6. At your event, excessive celebration is:
a. Strictly prohibited
b. Strongly encouraged
7. Which quarter do you expect to play the most decisive role?
a. The Pivotal Third
b. The French
8. You are most impressed by the size of the:
a. Jumbotron
b. Jumbo prawn
9. The prospect of which of these things is putting you most ill at ease right now?
a. Shotgun formation
b. Handgun violence
10. The thing you would absolutely not be able to get through this without is:
a. Grit
b. Grits
11. Your fellow Americans are most likely to see you:
a. Streaming on CBS
b. Streaking on Bourbon
12. How have you been preparing for today?
a. Visiting the PT to keep my throwing arm strong
b. Visiting the jukebox to play Louis Armstrong
13. When you hear the word “Purdy,” you think of:
a. Our young, scrappy quarterback
b. The Mississippi at sunset
15. Uh oh, what just hit you unexpectedly?
a. That last sack
b. That last Sazerac
16. Name the Catholic tradition that is most likely to close out your event.
a. Hail Mary
b. Ash Wednesday
RESULTS
Mostly A’s: Congratulations! You are almost certainly playing in the Super Bowl right now. What a magical season it’s been. Everyone doubted you, but here you are, proving them wrong, driving downfield for the winning touchdown. We are so proud of you. Now what on earth are you doing taking online quizzes during the biggest moment of your life? Get back to the game!
Mostly B’s: Woohoo! You’re attending Mardi Gras. Take a deep breath and appreciate being part of such a wonderfully festive tradition. You aren’t driving anywhere, by the way, let alone downfield for a winning touchdown. In fact, why don’t you just hand over your keys now, buddy — we’ll figure out your pants situation later. In the meantime, laissez les bons temps rouler!!
Unable to complete the quiz because you are currently getting blitzed: Either.
