Humor
The Benefits of an Impending Zombie Apocalypse: A Kinder, Gentler America
by Debbie L. Miller
Pay Equity
The Equal Pay/Pay Equity issue is rendered moot because everyone’s earning the same wage: i.e., zero (zombies don’t care about money and gladly work for free). No more striving or kissing the boss’s ass for a pay raise, ‘cuz who cares?
Unemployment Rates
As the need for skilled labor climbs, the construction sector expands and hordes of heavy equipment operators join the workforce to clean up the mess, especially in DC where levels of shit are astronomical. On the home front, entrepreneurial zombies form house cleaning cooperatives to address the re-emerging interest in neatness though oddly, children and house pets begin disappearing along with dirt.
Ageism
Age discrimination is no longer an issue — zombies are already dead and can’t get any older. And, due to the decomposition of the zombie body, it’s impossible to assess an individual’s age, which levels the playing field.
Violence
As the population zombifies, flesh-eating killing machines tire of violence and woke zombies give back with random acts of kindness. They teach tai chi at senior centers, hand out Ramen noodles and…
