The DNC Gives a Halftime Speech

Vote so hard your grandma feels it!

Look, I’ll be honest, team. We’re getting creamed out there. Republicans are running the field. And we only have one group to blame. Our voters.

Those cockwaffles completely screwed us. Record-breaking turnout, my left nutsack. Those lazy dickbiscuits simply aren’t voting hard enough, and…



Greener Pastures is a comedy and satire site run by a bunch of writers obsessed with out-writing, out-joking and out-funnying each other.

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Laura Skopec

Laura Skopec is a writer and comedian whose work has appeared in McSweeney’s and Slackjaw. Her half-hour comedy pilot, “Clown Town,” is in development.