Humor
These Latest Benefits for Essential Workers Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity
It’s the least we could do to show our appreciation.
All nurses get a complimentary face shield with any purchase of a 32oz fountain drink at your neighborhood 7-Eleven (limit one per person).
Half-off the purchase of anything over $500 at Sephora (qualifying MTA bus drivers only).
The New York Landlord Association announces that all teachers will get an extra day to come up with their rent.
Contactless delivery for Ikea furniture used in the break room for nurses working double shifts in a makeshift ICU ward (please limit breaks to 5 minutes).
Sanitation workers get one free flyover from a fighter jet on their birthday (cannot be combined with any other holiday).
All Safeway grocery workers receive priority seating in the hospital viewing room.
Free decontamination showers for the first 500 dockworkers who download the Verizon app.
Wal-Mart employees can enjoy an additional 15 minutes on a ventilator by signing up for our “COVID Rewards” program.
Buy one iPhone get another person telling you about America’s largest 5G conspiracy (available to doctors in all 50 states).
Ladies in the nursing home drink free, courtesy of Anheuser-Busch.
Select UPS drivers can donate to our Patreon to unlock premium content and a treasure map to a shipment of COVID tests.
$500 billion in tax breaks to any CEO willing to say, ‘we are all in this together.’
To honor and thank our brave warehouse workers, Amazon is giving every employee at our distribution centers the coronavirus.
