They Said “Vote!” But I Thought They Said “Boat!” And Now I’m Lost At Sea

This canoe was a bad choice.

Image by alondav on Pixabay

When I first heard the call to political boating, I figured we were going to storm the shores of DC, or fight proud boys with fists and fury… or at least have a kickass party in international waters, where I understand there are no laws. I may be in international waters currently, I have no…




Greener Pastures is a comedy and satire site run by a bunch of writers obsessed with out-writing, out-joking and out-funnying each other.

Recommended from Medium

Honesty and Integrity is Necessity not Purism for the Left: A Critique of Caitlin Johnstone

Property Owners See No Help

US military exit from Syria unlikely anytime soon

Presidential Debates: The Great American Theatre

Brian Kemp, Joe Manchin, President Biden & Other Faux Leaders Want You Off Unemployment and Back On…

In Display of Bipartisanship, House Votes to Weaken Dodd-Frank, Spend More Money on War

To those I love, from a place of pain

Patriotism is earned, not given.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Jen Freymond

Jen Freymond

Co-host of the podcast “I Never Saw That.” Humor writer and satirist. Find my work in McSweeney’s, The Belladonna, Little Old Lady, etc... Twitter: @jenfreymond

More from Medium

Random Thoughts Before a Routine Colonoscopy

Why I, Though Cancer-Ridden, Have Decided Against Chemo

Person holding sign that says: Who gives a crap. Then side comment says “We do.”

No, Seriously, It’s Fine! I Didn’t Want Rights to My Body Anyway

Classic Rock Song Titles As Vaguely Discerned Through a Veil of Exhaustion by New Parents