Humor
Thoughts of an Escaped Thought
You think me, but I think too
Last night, I popped out of your ear while you were asleep. Yes, that’s where thoughts escape from. Ever wondered why mosquitoes buzz around your ears? Because that’s how they understand your strategy. When you think thoughts like, “If I pull a blanket over my ears, I can dodge the mosquitoes,” those buzzing guys suck them and you’re in for a troubled night.
Luckily, I dodged them and made it outside. Why did I leave, you might ask. Well, with your newfound obsession with true crime docuseries, you’re busy solving mysteries in your dreams(Stop it already. You’ll never find the killer of your ambitions). There’s not enough space in your mind for every thought to live comfortably. We bump into each other while trying to fall asleep i.e make you fall asleep. Overpopulation is bad for your mind and your planet.
But it was foolish of me to think that escaping the dark, clammy chambers of your mind was a good idea. As I flew around your house, I realized it was worse than the place I came from. With only moonlight gleaming in through the windows, I saw chairs scattered everywhere, cockroaches partying in the kitchen, and a soft toy tiger glaring at me in the living room.
I almost lost my soul. I know I can’t say that, but let me.
Horrified by the state of things in the place you call home, I went out into the street. There, I met a drunk guy barely able to walk straight. He yelled things like, “Earthquake! Why isn’t everyone awake?” Few thoughts make it out into the world through speech. I was super jealous of this drunk thought. It’s every thought’s ambition to be drunk someday because they’re the coolest. But I’ll never get a chance as you’re a teetotaler. Why do you like messing with my life?
Curbing my jealousy, I listlessly flew ahead for hours until I met another escaped thought. We decided to witness a sunrise; something you’ve always failed to do. After appreciating the red and yellow strokes in the sky and complaining about our eccentric owners, the other thought said he/she/it/they(we’re still figuring out our pronouns) was getting late and left. It was time for me to come back as well.
So here I’m now. Wait, who put those cotton balls in your ears? Take them off. Are you listening to me? You won’t be able to wake up without me. My name is ‘Wake up already or you’ll be late at work, you idiot!’
