Humor
Turning Into an Ogre at Sunset, and Other Things No One Told Me About Menopause
I nearly detonated my husband!
By the time I was 52, I had experienced many of the common symptoms of menopause: dry skin, decreased libido, and the inability to locate the “leave” button on Zoom. Then one evening, my husband Bob and I were enjoying cocktails on our back deck. Just as the sun set, my skin turned green, my ears popped out of my head, and I had a sudden craving for beetles. I had turned into an ogre!
This was a menopause symptom my mother never mentioned!
Curious about other potentially shape-shifting symptoms, I spoke to a specialist and member of the Northern Hemisphere Menopause Association, Dr. Diane Utero, MD, who listed several symptoms, including Ogremorphism, that aren’t commonly discussed.
Ogremorphism
I’m not alone! Dr. Utero advises that 3 in 3000 women turn into ogres during menopause. “We believe that in some women, the decrease in estrogen causes an increase in chlorophyll turning the skin green. These women also experience anger issues and weight gain brought on by the ingestion of slugs.”
Luckily, my body reverts back to its original state every morning. Except for the anger. The anger remains.
