Humor
Why Lobo Put in His Two Weeks’ Notice
For one thing, he was always the bridesmaid, never the Bride of the Monster
Guaranteed Breaks
Lobo needs a guaranteed break that is not into a coffin or out of a collapsed mine shaft in the opening scene of the sequel.
Toxic Work Environment
Lobo does not mean the atomic sludge paste he is supposed to apply to the octopus day and night. Lobo means the abusive personality of Dr. Vornoff.
The doctor calls Lobo “dumb brute!” The doctor calls Lobo “damned fool!” But the doctor doesn’t call Lobo when the doctor orders Chinese food?
Better Wages
Lobo currently only gets paid in Aladdin pants. If Lobo actually earned any money, then he could afford more than one outfit.
For instance, Lobo would like a sweater vest. He thinks it would go well with the pipe . . . that he beat that nosy reporter with.
PTO
The only time Lobo gets to take off from work is when their secret lab explodes and hurls him fifteen feet into mid-air.
Night Shift
Everything closes early in a small town. Everything closes even earlier when Lobo walks in.
Lobo just wanted to go to a barbershop. Sure, Lobo is bald, but he also likes straight razors. The barber took that statement the wrong way. Subsequently, he took the straight razor the right way. (Right being the direction Lobo slashed across his throat.)
That left yet another body for Lobo to dump. But not into the same lake that Lobo dumped all that nuclear waste material. Lobo learned that lesson the hard way.
Self-Improvement
Lobo started taking night classes. Doctor Vornoff does not encourage Lobo to continue his education. Doctor Vornoff only encourages Lobo to continue chucking body parts into the radioactive octopus pit.
Benefits
Lobo desperately needs health insurance. While working for Doctor Vornoff, Lobo has been stabbed, shot, hurled off a castle balcony, and exposed to the potentially hazardous guano of the Devil Bat.
He is also required to lift more than fifty pounds without bending his knees. He would like to bend his knees, but Doctor Vornoff replaced his kneecaps with the scales of a monitor lizard.
Doctor Vornoff is a talented physician, but Lobo was only supposed to get his appendix removed. Lobo wants a second opinion from now on.
Career Growth
The only growth in the henchman-for-mad-scientist industry is the accidental byproduct of tinkering in God’s domain.
Frankly, Lobo was embarrassed that the terrified townspeople were not impressed by one particular region of his unnaturally embiggened bulk. (Lobo blames the Aladdin pants.)
New Job Opportunity
Devil Bat told Lobo that there is an opening in the Kroger meat department. Lobo is seriously considering applying. He is really good with a butcher knife and really bad only through the influence of Doctor Vornoff.
Either way, Lobo realizes he needs to make some life changes. Okay, he is technically undead, but Doctor Vornoff gets the point . . . when Lobo impales him on that pitchfork.
But he can still use him as a reference, right?
