Sassy Girl— Bringer of Joy (2002-2022)
a cat’s life lived well, shared with others
Our 19-year-old cat, Sassy, died here at home two days ago. She was the last of the “four-legged family” my wife had adopted, raised, and cared for before we got together. In their early middle age I became “daddy” to her two cats, Sassy and Teensy, and to her two dogs, Magnus and Amica. Teensy died in 2014, Magnus in 2018, and Amica in 2020, leaving Sassy the sole surviving member of her pack.
Sassy and I became friends immediately when we met (here’s that story), and through the time we had together, we bonded more deeply than I have with any other animal. I became her person, and there’s so much to say about that, I’ll put it off to another time and post(s). Suffice it to say that we spent a lot of time together, in a vast variety of activities. And as I did with her siblings, I shared a bit of that with others on social media, opening a window through which they could glimpse the life we shared, through posts, pictures, videos, tweets, stories, updates, and the like.
Sassy herself had no idea about how many people encountered her online and took an interest in her life and doings. Were a cat able to conceptualize human beings learning about her, following her day-to-day life, even saying things about her, I don’t know that Sassy would have cared all that much. She wasn’t a show-off. But whenever she met people in person, she was friendly towards, and interested in them.
I posted this picture yesterday morning of her empty bed and the “butterscotch” blanket, both of which she loved.
And I wrote:
Our little Sassy cat is gone. She died yesterday afternoon, petted and comforted by my wife and I, looking at me as her body and spirit gave out. She was very loved and I was her person. My heart is alternately full of memories of her and empty in grief over her.
Hundreds of people wrote to express their condolences to my wife and I in Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube. Knowing what to say in situations like that can be difficult for many people (as I’ve reflected upon earlier here), but it is consoling to read so many short messages just conveying sympathy and sadness.
Another set of responses open up a different dimension, unfolding a sort of depth, explicitly referring to people from all over the world coming to know Sassy through what I shared of her in social media. One emotion that came up in a number of these is “joy” (or “enjoyment” or “loving”).
I like to think that if Sassy could have been conscious of her bringing joy to people, particularly just by existing and doing her cat-things, that would have given her joy as well in return. As it is, the fact that people did enjoy getting to know her and learning about her life — particularly in these last years so bleak for so many in so many ways — that fills my own heart with some happiness.
Another set of comments talked in particular about getting to know Sassy through the posts, or getting to see a bit of what Sassy and I got up to.
I have likely been posting more in recent months, as Sassy’s health declined in a number of manners, and I reflected upon our time together, our stories, and my own feelings towards her and about the coming end. Several of the comments refer to that, I think.
I showed all of these comments to my wife, who was happy to hear about the small but happy impacts Sassy had upon others’ lives, and grateful that those people had shared those experiences with us as consolation. I share her sentiments.
The grief is still raw. So many things and places in our apartment recall Sassy to my mind, and I’m reminded of her absence, of the fact that she will never be here again, except within our hearts. But knowing that others are also sharing in these bittersweet memories, because they came to know, take joy in, and love her — even if just at a digital distance — is itself a joy and a comfort.
I’m Gregory B. Sadler, the president of ReasonIO, the editor of Stoicism Today, a speaker, writer, and a producer of highly popular YouTube videos on classic and contemporary philosophy. I teach at Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design, and offer classes to the wider public in my Study With Sadler online academy. I also produce the Sadler’s Lectures podcast and co-host the Wisdom for Life radio show
