Lying, Cheating & Half Truths — The Second Cut
Would I Lie to You, Well Honey Would I Lie to You, Now Would I Say Something That Wasn’t True? We’re asking you …
Come join us July 11th as we discuss as a Guild something we likely don’t care to admit as much — the importance, power and consequences of “the lie”, “the cheat” and the “half truth”: LinkedIn Live
Authored by: Sean Moffitt, Grey Swan Guild Co-Founder, Head of Cygnus Ventures
“The truth is not always beautiful, nor beautiful words the truth.” — Lao Tzu
Even in the time between our first and second post on this subject of Lying, Cheating and Half-Truths, I’ve already seen a number of cognitive biases at work to explain (or explain away) acts and beliefs of deception:
- Fundamental Attribution Error — we can judge others on their personality or fundamental character and ourselves on the situation presented
- Blindspot Bias — we don’t think we have bias and tend to see it in others more than we see it in ourselves
- Just-World Hypothesis — we tend to believe the world is just, and thus we believe acts of injustice are deserved
In our first post on this subject, we framed up the subject through terms, importance, stats, philosophical background and criteria for what is a lie, cheat and half-truth.
In this post, we get more practical about lying, cheating and half-truths (we even throw in stealing):
- What are the motives for lying/cheating?
- What types and categorizations of lying/cheating exist? (we got up to 65!)
- Are there degrees of lies and cheats? (we codified a scale of 17)
- Does lying represent a higher order gift? A contrarian thought.
- Test your own moral compass through a quiz or two or eight
Let’s dive into the pool of deceit and duplicity.
F. What are People’s Motives for Lying, Cheating and Stealing:
As much as Hollywood loves to cast lying in a very mean, malicious light focused on tearing other people down, most lies are based on internal character flaws, needing to enhance oneself or telling “white lies” in support (not to the detriment) of others.
Here’s a breakdown of core reasons why people have a host of ethical challenges and quandaries below:
i) Why People Lie:
The good news is that bad lying behaviour isn’t so horrible that people want to hurt others. Here’s a breakdown of core reasons why people lie (Source: University of Wisconsin-La Crosse)
- #1 — To avoid others (21%)
- #2 — Humor (a joke or a prank) (20%)
- #3 — To protect one’s self (14%)
- #4 — To impress or appear more favorable (13%)
- #5 — To protect another person (11%)
- #6 — For personal benefit or gain (9%)
- #7 — For the benefit of another person 5%)
- #8 — To hurt another person (2%)
- Unspecified reasons or, explicitly, for no reason at all (5%)
ii) Why People Have Ethical Challenges in Business
An even balance of marketplace and workplace ethical issues are at the top of the professional ethical compromises list:
- #1 To get ahead of competition (15%)
- #2 To shield truth from employees (13%)
- #3 To exert control over employees (12%)
- #4 To shield truth from customers (10%)
- #4 To dance around conflicts of interest (10%)
- #4 To avoid health and safety issues or regulations (10%)
Source — Wall Street Journal, The Ethics and Compliance Initiative
iii) Where People Lie, Cheat & Steal In Business:
A large range of “deception temptations” manifest themselves in corporate settings, most of them internally focused (howver that may just be where they are more apt to be caught):
iv) Why People Steal
More than 80% of people have stolen something from an hotel once. It likely serves as a good proxy for our low stakes, stealing human nature (felons and kleptomaniacs, we will leave in a different camp) . Here why’s they do we do the small steal, frequently for altogether irrational reasons:
- #1 I deserve it — I paid too much for this room (30%)
- #2 For sentimental reasons (29%)
- #3 The hotel can afford it (29%)
- #4 I get a rush of naughtiness (26%)
- #5 I think it’s funny (26%)
- #6 It’s my way of retaliating against bad service (25%)
- #7 I have a kleptomaniac side of my character (24%)
- #8 I do it for the thrill (18%)
Why People Cheat in their Romantic Relationships:
In a different realm altogether, infidelity has many seed sources based on gender and culture:
“If it is necessary sometimes to lie to others, it is always despicable to lie to oneself. — F Somerset Maugham
G. Sixty-Five Types of Lying, Cheating, Stealing
We lie, cheat and steal for so many very human-based reasons. We came up with a robust list — sixty five in total.
I thought about having some moral grading on each of these below, but each has such a larger range of justifications and severity, it would render it inaccurate if not of little utility. I left it merely an alphabetical list:
#1 Affirmation — Maintaining Positive, Consistent Self-Image
#2 Altruism — Helping Others, Moral Obligation
#3 Attention Seeking — Gaining Sympathy/Fame
#4 Bonding — Social Connection & Camaraderie
#5 Bottom Line — Wealth Acquisition
#6 Calculation — Weighed Cost-Benefit Advantage
#7 Casting Blame — Making Others Look Bad
#8 Character Flaw — Lacking Integrity
#9 Competition — Cutthroat/Winner Takes All Drive
#10 Compulsive — Habitual Personality Disorder
#11 Evasion— Getting Away with Ill-Derived Reward/Benefit
#12 Concealment — Hiding Secrets
#13 Conformity — Fitting in/Embracing Surrounding Culture
#14 Consequences — Price Too High for Honesty
#15 Convenience — Time Pressure/Emotion Avoidance
#16 Cover Up — Erasing Previous Mistakes/Indiscretions
#17 Covetous — Seeking Aspirational Reward
#18 Craving — Instant Gratification/Urge
#19 Defence — Avoiding Punishment/Retaliation
#20 Deflection — Avoiding Accountability
#21 Denial — Truth Hurts Too Much
#22 Dissonance Mgmt. — Rationalizing Action with Beliefs
#23 Drama Seeking — Stirring it Up/Sewing Chaos
#24 Entitlement — Hovering Above the Rules
#25 Exaggeration — Attracting Attention
#26 Experiment — Pushing Limits/See Where Line is
#27 Filter — Tact, Politeness to Others
#28 Gaming — Within or Outside Rules of Play
#29 Goal Orientation — Means Justify Ends
#30 Greed — Boundless Desire to Want More
#31 Humor — Jokes/Pranks at Someone’s Expense
#32 Immunity — Remoteness of Ever Being Caught
#33 Indifference — Simply don’t Care
#34 Influence — Winning Arguments, Create Other’s False Illusion
#35 Lapses — Moments of Weakness/Stress/Impairment
#36 Low Self-Esteem — Compensating for Poor Confidence
#37 Lowered Expectations — It’s Expected, Poor Standards Abound
#38 Malice — Aimed at Hurting People
#39 Manipulation — Controlling Others
#40 Mental Health — Born out of Depression, Anxiety, Bipolarity
#41 Moral High Ground — Taking Down the Unjust
#42 Necessity — Circumstance with No Alternatives
#43 Obedience — Bowing to Authority, Intimidation
#44 Pathological — False Sense of Reality, Addiction
#45 Peacemaking — Mitigating/Avoiding Conflict
#46 Power- Gaining Loyalty and Commitment
#47 Pressure — Driven by Stakeholder Incentives
#48 Procrastination — Avoiding Work
#49 Protection — Sheltering Someone from Harm
#50 Professional Obligation — It’s Part of the Job
#51 Reconcile Beliefs — Turning Perception into Truth
#52 Red Herring — Distracting from Reality
#53 Reputation Enhancement — Elevating Themselves
#54 Safeguarding — Maintaining Privacy/Confidentiality
#55 Safety — Self-Protection
#56 Self-Deception — Distorting Own View of Reality
#57 Self-Serving — Advancing Yourself over Others
#58 Shielding — Avoiding Embarassment/Shame
#59 Slippery Slope — Escalating Commitment
#60 Social Circumventing — Avoiding Disappontment of Others
#61 Spinning — Portraying Facts in the Best Light
#62 Superiority Complex — Real/Illusory Belief in Talent to Pull it Off
#63 Thrill Seeking — Novelty,Dopamine Hit
#64 Vindication — Revenge, I am Owed Something
#65 Virtue Signalling — Moral Correctness, not Action
“Lying is an indispensable part of making life tolerable.” — Bergen Evans
H. Lying — A Gift of Humans
For most, lying is a morally objectionable act, bordering on character flaw on the low side, to bane of society on the high side. In my most recent poll, 44% of people believe that no circumstance merits a lie (although perhaps they were lying on the survey?).
Let’s contemplate an alternative argument for a moment. Maybe lying is what makes us intrinsically human, the apex species on the planet.
i) Lying makes us get along
Researcher Paul Ekman observed that prosocial lying, frequently termed white lies, reflects the development of at least four distinct human capacities: theory of mind, empathy, compassion, and the combination of memory and imagination that allows us to foresee the consequences of our words. It’s one of the reasons we can’t consider a child lying until about 4 years old.
Answer these questions and find out your dilemma. Most people, to avoid conflict or hurt feelings, will go for prosocial lying:
- “how did you like my speech?”
- “do I look good in this dress?”
- “what is your opinion of him/her/person of influnce?”
- “how is your meal?”
- “is Santa Claus real?”
ii) Lying is a sign of heightened intelligence
Although not unique to humans (e.g. Gorillas and orchids are capable of lying in the wild), effective lying tends to be a function of a well-developed neocortex in humans. Highly intelligent people are not only convincing liars, but were also more accurately able to evaluate whether lying was beneficial or not in different contexts.
Highly intelligent people are better at lying on personality questionnaires, catering to the requirements of their employers; highly intelligent people also choose to lie in situations wherein the results of lying are better and more convenient than telling the truth.
Intelligence is also one of the reasons why smarter people can apply more brain effort to not only making the initial lie but keeping the lie as well, more capable in spending the cognitive energy in keeping the lie going. It doesn’t make lying right but it does make us smart. It’s also is why some of our top status occupations attract liars — legal, political and finance arenas index higher on lying (we’ll cover that in a future post).
iii) Lying to ourselves fuels top performers and visionaries to push to new worlds
Friedrich Nietzsche once uttered “The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others. Belief in truth begins with doubting all that has hitherto been believed to be true. The most common sort of lie is the one uttered to one’s self.”
By loosening the bonds of what’s possible or the rules of the past world, entrepreneurs, leaders, star athletes and performers can take on a future world that doesn’t yet exist.
Dr. Michael Norton of Harvard Business School mentions a caution that successful people need to find that line between “a little bit of self-deception” that makes you forget about your negatives and “a lot of self-deceptions that’s an extremely unhealthy thing.”
Benefits tend to come, research shows, when people simply block out negative thoughts, envision themselves enjoying future successes or take an optimistic view of their abilities — all of which tend to improve performance or persuasive ability.
iv) Increasing acceptance of lying to deal with life stresses
As evidenced by the recent poll below, lying has a convenient way of dealing with life issues. A majority gave credence to lying when it came to calling in sick to work, embellishing stories and lying about a child’s behavior. Inflating one’s appearance on social media, a resume or dating profile also had 25–40% of us agree that there was merit.
“A lie that is a half-truth, is the darkest of all lies” — Alfred Tennyson
I. Degrees of Lying — A 17 PT. Scale of Lies & Cheating
A lie is not a lie is not a lie. A cheat is not a cheat is not a cheat. There are white versions, grey versions and dark versions and we have tried to tease out the different degree of infraction below as a starting point.
The 17 pt. scale below of a severity of a lie, cheat or half truth were based on five criteria:
- it’s impact on others
- it’s intentionality
- it’s overtness of act
- it’s likely frequency of infraction
- it’s variance of severity contained across infractions
Lies and Cheating of Commission — overtly false, untrue or against the rules (with degree of severity in brackets):
- Sociopathy (+14), Pathological Lying/Kleptomania (+13), Con Artistry/Fraud (+12), Backstabbing (+11), Intentional Lying (+10), Cheating (+9), Falsification (+8)
Lies and Cheating of Omission — misleading statements or questionable actions, but not necessarily untrue statements (with degree of severity in brackets):
- Fabrication (+7), Denial/Evasion (+6),Manipulation (+5), Misdirection/Dodging (+4)
Lies and Cheating of Influence — statements that may be true or acts within the rules, but may lead to false, misleading interpretation or benefit (with degree of severity in brackets):
- Duplicity/Faking (+3), False Inference (+2), Framing (+1)
Lies & Cheating of Ethics — lying or cheating that could be supported by some level of moral grounds (with degree of severity in brackets):
- Protective (-1), Tact (-2), Moral Imperative (-3)
J. Are you a Liar, Cheater, Stealer?
Most people strongly believe they are just, virtuous, and moral; many strive to achieve a moral high standard. However, two factors get in the way of this self-claim: a) many have illusory superiority and believe they far exceed the average person’s virtues and b) when presented with a given situation, actions aren’t always consistent with beliefs.
Frequently, people judges themselves on their intentions, and they judge other people on their actions. Unfortunately, in practical life, we are making moral and ethical tradeoffs all the time. In research by Tappin & Mckay, they found far more irrational self-assessments in morality versus agency or sociability. Let’s take a good critical look at yourself.
If you can answer them honesty, take some tests yourself:
- Are you a pathological liar? (Source: PsychMechanics)
- Are you a liar? (Paul Ekman)
- Is somebody lying to you? Lie-Q (Pamela Meyer)
- How faithful are you? (HowStuffWorks)
- Is your partner cheating? (WebMD)
- Are you a stealer? (BuzzFeed)
- Work: Integrity & Work Test (Psychology Today)
- General: How Ethical Are You? (Media Partners)
Five Articles in the Lying, Cheating, Half-Truth Series:
The Second Cut — Motives, Types, Degrees of Lies and Cheats, Gift, Traits of Character Flaw, Quiz
The Third Cut — How to Spot a Liar/Cheater, Physiology of Lying, Myths, Technology, Types of People and Lying — Effects of Gender, Age & Culture
The Fourth Cut — Professions and Lying, How We Get Better and Key Questions We Should Be Asking
The Fifth Cut — Debrief from our Craft Building Event #59 — Lying, Cheating and Half-truths
The Craft Building Series #59 Event — Lying, Cheating and Half-Truths
Come join us Tuesday July 11th, 2023 at 5pm ET/9pm UTC on LinkedIn Live as we debate the value, consequences, motives, trends and future of untruth.
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Motives for Lying
- 21 % to avoid others
- 20 % as humor (a joke or a prank)
- 14 % to protect one’s self
- 13 % to impress or appear more favorable
- 11 % to protect another person
- 9 % for personal benefit or gain
- 5 % for the benefit of another person
- 2 % to hurt another person
- 5 % unspecified reasons or, explicitly, for no reason at all
1. Lying to save face.
2. Shift blame.
3. Avoid Confrontation.
4. Get One’s Way.
5. To be Nice.
6. Lying to Make yourself Feel Better.
“Lying is an indispensable part of making life tolerable.” — Bergen Evans
Gift or Character Flaw?
“A lie that is a half-truth, is the darkest of all lies” — Alfred Tennyson
Types of Lies
“If it is necessary sometimes to lie to others, it is always despicable to lie to oneself. — F Somerset Maugham
Degrees of Lying
“There is one way to find out if a man is honest — ask him. if he says “Yes” — you know he is a crook” — Groucho Marx
How to Spot a Liar/Detecting Lies
Nassim Taleb once uttered “people tend to whisper when they say the truth and raise their voice when they lie.”
“The more you defend a lie, the angrier you become” — Mitch Albom
Telling the Lie vs. Keeping the Lie
“The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way” — Samuel Butler
Methods and Frameworks
“Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they are honest about everything”- Chuck Klosterman
Quiz and Test
“Lord, Lord, how subject we old men are to this vice of lying!” — William Shakespeare
Age & Lying
“Lying is the most fun a woman can have without taking her clothes off.”- Natalie Portman
Gender & Lying
Women are more likely to tell altruistic lies to avoiding hurting other people’s feelings, and men are more likely to lie about themselves. De Paulo found that men lie more often to impress. A typical conversation between two guys contains about eight times as many self-oriented lies as it does lies about others.
“O, what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive” — Walter Scott
Top Professions and Lying
“Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no fibs.” — Oliver Goldsmith
Physiology of Lying
Three key parts of our brain are stimulated when we lie. First, the frontal lobe (of the neocortex), which has the ability to suppress truth — yes, it’s capable of dishonesty due to its intellectual role. Second, the limbic system due to the anxiety (hi, amygdala!) that comes with deception — and yes, when we’re lied to our “Spiderman sense” here can perk up, just as we can feel guilty/stressed when we’re doing the lying. And third, the temporal lobe is involved because it’s responsible for retrieving memories and creating mental imagery. Just for fun, add the anterior cingulate cortex because it helps in monitoring errors, and the dorsal lateral prefrontal cortex because it is trying all the while to control our behavior. Our brain is busy, busy, busy when we lie.
And it’s far more peaceful when we tell the truth, because our limbic systems isn’t stressed about lying and our frontal lobe isn’t inhibiting the truth.
“I’ve studied pathological liars, and anything they say, they believe, and that’s one of the reasons they’re so convincing, because they have no connection with the truth. It’s a dead issue. It’s like they’re color-blind to the truth. So anything that comes out of their mouths is their reality.” — Jane Velez-Mitchell
Sociology
“A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.” — Hector Hugh Munro
Pyschology
“A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.” — Josh Billings
Business
The Workplace
According to Zety’s recent 2020 research, of over 1,000 Americans, they found 96% confessed to lying to get out of work. Here’s the net-net:
- The most common lies include feeling sick (84%), family emergencies (65%), doctor’s appointment (60%), or lying about a family member’s death (31%)!
- On average, one person has used 7 different excuses to get out of work on different occasions.
- Only 27% of respondents who lied to get out of work regretted it, and 41% of respondents would lie again.
- 91% of people making up excuses to get out of the office were never caught!
More men than women were caught lying, and only 27% of respondents who lied to get out of work regretted it. For those caught, 70% regretted lying. But despite not feeling bad about themselves for lying, 59% of respondents said they wouldn’t do it again.
“It’s not that we’ll mistake them for the truth. The real danger is that if we hear enough lies, then we no longer recognize the truth. What then?”, Valery Legasov (played by Jared Harris) HBO, Chernobyl
Legal
“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he will tell the truth” — Oscar Wilde
Literature
“One who deceives will always find those who allow themselves to be deceived.” — Niccolo Machiavelli
Politics
“If you’re really successful at bullshitting, it means you’re not hanging around enough people smarter than you.” — Neil deGrasse Tyson
Science
Nature
“Lying is like alcoholism. You are always recovering.” — Steven Soderbergh
Media
“If you are going to bluff, make it a big one.” — Amarillo Slim
Gaming
“I never lie, at least to those i don’t love.” — Anne Rice
Relationships
“Tennis is a very objective sport in that the scoreboard doesn’t lie” — Andre Agassi
Sports
Technology & Lying
“”Finding yourself” is a pop culture lie.
“Finding your passion” is a pop culture lie.
“Finding your soul mate” is a pop culture lie.There is nothing to find, only to create.” — Steven Bartlett
Pop Culture
“The cruelest lies are often told in silence” — Robert Louis Stevenson
Key Questions To Debate:
- Is lying always wrong or immoral?
- Are there degrees of lying — a continuum of deceitful right and wrong?
- Can lying be justified on created the greatest amount of happiness?
- Does social media and connection make lying worse or better?
- What are the differences between age and gender and lying?
“Truly to tell lies is not honourable; but when the truth entails tremendous ruin, to speak dishonorably is pardonable.” Sophocles
How to Get Better
“A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth.” — Aesop
Event
“The truth is not always beautiful, nor beautiful words the truth.” — Lao Tzu
