An Essay About My Daughter Went Viral
Millions of people read about Ana’s imaginary world, Arkomo, and my heart is full.
I’ve been writing about losing my daughter for seven years. Each year is different — my perspective on grief and on how to make sense of this loss changes as I change.
I have written essay after essay after essay, trying to to solve the puzzle of Ana’s death and trying to figure out how to live with this kind of grief in a way that’s bearable. I’ve written a letter from Ana to me. I’ve personified grief (twice), welcoming it, shunning it, and hating this daily dance I do to fit it into my life.
It takes a tremendous amount of energy to keep on living in a way that feels meaningful and worthwhile without Ana. Writing helps. I write because I love talking about Ana, telling her story, saying her name in my mind, and whispering it as I read a piece out loud. I write because I want to talk about her, think about her, revisit her life with photos and stories that let me share her with the world.
I write because losing a child is lonely. Getting feedback from readers, particularly fellow bereaved parents, has been incredibly healing for me.
Naturally, many of my essays are sad. When I read my work from 2017 through 2020, what strikes me is how…
