Grief Sabotages Me When I Least Expect It
When you lose a child, even the most mundane chore can trigger a terrible memory
I’m standing in Walgreens, my arms full of items meant for my daughter Emily. She has a bad cold. Her covid test is negative, which is good news, but she feels too miserable to go to work today.
Emily is 20 and still lives at home. She’s working full-time and saving money before she leaves my nest for good. I scan the many different cold remedies, grateful for the opportunity to play mother hen. This could be one of the last times I get to fuss over Emily when she’s sick and I’m not going to waste it.
I’m holding a thermometer, a box of Nyquil gel caps, two different kinds of throat lozenges, and a package of honey-flavored lip balm when the grief hits me.
It’s the lip balm that does it.
Nine years ago, on a September day very much like today, I’d visited this same Walgreens and purchased half a dozen ointments and salves in a desperate attempt to relieve the oral mucositis that my older daughter, Ana, was experiencing as a side effect of her chemo meds. Oral mucositis is painful inflammation of the mouth and gums which can include sores and soreness of the mouth and throat.
