There Are A Thousand Ways for a Child to Die
The “how” is different when you lose a child, but the end result is always the same
Bereaved parents exist in a different dimension than most people. We are lonely, but not alone. Losing a child is a lot more common than I realized all those years ago when I was blissfully unaware that lightning was about to strike my family.
Knowing this doesn’t make my reality any easier. Sometimes it makes it hurt even more when I hear from another bereaved parent. It doesn’t happen as much now that it’s been over seven years since I lost my daughter Ana to cancer. But it can still send me spiraling, like the email I recently got from a man who lost his daughter suddenly while she was away at college. He’d read a piece I wrote about how I helped Ana die. He told me I was lucky. He didn’t have the opportunity to say goodbye.
I don’t feel lucky, though I recognize that it was a blessing that I was there to help Ana die. But, on the other hand, this man didn’t have to watch his daughter suffer. He didn’t see the light go out of her eyes. I don’t think he’s lucky, though.
Comparing this immense loss is meaningless. That’s one of the many things I’ve learned in these past 7 years and 7 months. The end result is the same — we must carry on forever without…
