How to light a fart on fire and not burn down the house or singe the pets
Are you one of those sick fucks who just lets your farts come out willy-nilly? Don’t care who you gas as long as you get it out of your ass? Don’t care who’s nostrils you infect? You go over to friends’ and family’s houses and just let her rip from the moment you arrive till the time you leave? Well guess what, there’s something you can do to greatly improve your social life. Yes, you can light your farts on fire and impress everyone you know!
You may be wondering why on earth anyone would want to light their farts. Well, the biggest bonus to lighting your farts— other than it’s fun as fuck — is that burning them kills the smell. Thus, if your farts stink like shit and nobody wants to be around you, then by all means, please light them and save the rest of us!
Now, I bet you didn’t know this, but fewer than 10% of the population has ever lit a fart! That’s unbelievable! Considering all the methane in the atmosphere and the over-awareness of global warming, these people could singlehandedly save the planet if they started lighting their farts!
If you are one of the billions of people who doesn’t know how to light a fart, have no fear! Below, I have clearly and concisely created some step-by-step instructions on how to effectively light a fart without burning down the…
