My Path to Groove — Tova Safra

There’s a problem — and the solution isn’t a “thing”

We’ve all heard there’s a great resignation going on, and it isn’t a passing fad. Millions of people are fed up enough to take action on their realization that it’s about. freaking. time. that we stop living to work rather than working to live, chasing our tails day after day, ending up burnt out, unfulfilled, or just very very lost. And despite the relentless marketing messages, the solution isn’t a “thing” — like luxury sleepwear, fancy mattresses, expensive courses and books, mushroom tea, tiny house living, or any other category of fill-in-the-blank for sale. (Though some of those are fun!) The answer isn’t external to any of us, it relies on each of us developing skills and habits to balance our lives — our emotions, our bank accounts, our aspirations, and ultimately our accomplishments that result. What’s so tricky is that it’s incredibly hard to do these things alone, and yet that’s how most of us try.

When COVID lockdowns first began, and those of us lucky enough to be able to work from home were still adjusting to their new situations, it seemed for a while that it was temporary enough that we could just “deal”. But now that it’s not so temporary after all, many have gotten over the trauma, but have we changed our lives to a new sustainable pattern? Sort of? Maybe? (Side note — how are you doing? I hope you’re doing well.)

So many of us have admirably dealt with the recent changes by taking steps in our lives towards more meaning, more freedom, and more fulfillment. But it can be a hard road to travel. You start off with a lot of energy, and then end up feeling somewhat isolated: You might’ve moved away from a city, from friends, from an office, from old habits. You no longer see co-workers if you’re WFH, or your old ways of coping with daily demands no longer seem relevant. Some days feel so foggily unstructured that you wonder: Am I accomplishing anything at all? I felt this acutely when I first started freelancing, even though it was years before the pandemic.

And then, slowly, I changed. That process and those learnings are the pieces of myself that I put, every day, into making Groove work. As the person in charge of how we bring this vision to life through design, I aim to create community-centric designs and processes that help us craft our product together with our members. After having worked as a product designer in a variety of settings, I’m overjoyed to have the opportunity to design collaboratively in this way, with such a smart, caring community to work with me.

Making magic

I’ve always been a maker, a tinkerer, a builder. I have an unapologetically naive belief that beauty and simplicity impact us positively as humans living on this planet. I like to make things that are “beautiful” in the way that they work for us. Experiences that bring more happiness or wellbeing, that open our eyes to the magic of our existence (it’s true!) and amplify that magic for those who may not have had the chance to experience it before. We are building Groove to be all of these things, and I hope we will continue to make it better and better.

When I was just starting to design Groove with Josh and Sruli, my co-founders at Groove, and I’d try to explain the concept to acquaintances, some people said, “That’s a little weird, getting on a spontaneous video chat with strangers?” But when we actually released our app, people liked it — people who were building lives and careers on their own terms, people I admired. They Grooved a LOT; 25% of our weekly active members were each spending 10+ hours a week Grooving. They were getting things DONE. Big things like writing books and proposals, little things like cleaning the kitchen and answering emails. Incredibly — all the things. For our early community members, foggy, unstructured days and “I just can’t get motivated” became “I can’t believe I achieved all that in one hour!”. Something had clicked.

So how do we aim to help people feel productive, when Groove is the farthest thing possible from a productivity app, from a scheduling app, or any number of timers, organizers, and calendars? The answer, I think, is that unless underneath these “aids” is a person who feels supported in what they are doing — any task or goal is in danger of becoming just another oppressive chore, a drudge you can’t complete. The failure of so many productivity tools to help motivate people is clearly explainable in this light: to-do lists on their own can’t motivate people on the deep and wholehearted level that is needed for most of us to accomplish truly great things.

We are not the sum total of our to-do lists

I’m a recovering workaholic, and an introvert to boot — both traits have led me down some unsatisfying paths in life, which I’ve struggled to turn around. It took me years to internalize that, contrary to popular beliefs, I am not the sum total of my to-do list or my browser tabs currently open — and neither are you. We are far more complex than any of that, and we are capable of going so much farther than that. What’s more, productivity isn’t our sole value as human beings, even though many workplaces tend to make you feel that it is. And your to-do list just might reinforce that belief if you let it. The idea that we aren’t what we do is a scary statement, and for many of us, it threatens our sense of self worth. Who am I, after all, if I can’t make a list and tick everything off of it?

Having these thoughts, for a long time, meant that I was missing out on something important. I’d make list after list and even though I was getting through them, I didn’t necessarily feel great about it. I was also good at burning myself out repeatedly. But achieving things when you have a “pod” of Groovers to cheer you on, to show support, to hold you accountable, and to help you keep a healthy pace for your achievements — is an entirely different story. Working alone but not in isolation just makes so much more sense. It’s not a surprise to me that, as Dr Loretta Breuning explains; deep feelings of accomplishment come from being able to meet our needs in ways that are healthy for our minds and bodies, and sustainable enough to do often.

What to do vs how to be while doing it

We work to build Groove on the conviction that our time on Earth is very valuable, and that each one of us is capable of way more than we assume, when we are in the right frame of mind — supported, accepted, and whole. “What do I want to get done today” is the question most people usually ask themselves, when it’s important to also ask “How do I want to be today?” On an instinctual level, we know the answer to that question — we want to be in flow, and in good company, to feel that others have our back and that we’re contributing to a greater good, as well as building our lives the way we want to. What you actually do might be something you have in common with many others, but the way you show up while doing it is what makes you uniquely you. This is what we are here to foster.

So, what will you be working on today? And how do you want to be while doing it? I invite you to start asking these questions and to join us as we do the same. If you’re a freelancer / solopreneur, or just a free spirit working from home, looking to get something done — bring it to a Groove and I’ll see you there!