Self-Care as a Community Leader
How to take care of yourself as you care for your community
Holding Space for Others
Community leaders often hold a lot of space for other people’s emotions during the workday — and sometimes beyond the workday. I’m an empath: I feel emotions deeply — not just my own — but others’ too.
In college, I diagnosed myself with “second-hand stress”. I don’t think it’s a real thing, but it very much described how I felt regularly. Friends would share stories about the negative emotions they were feeling that day and they’d feel great after letting it all out; they got things off their chest by talking with me about it. I was an ear to listen. And, afterward, they may have continued on with their day feeling a little lighter. Meanwhile, I was couldn’t let go of those emotions they shared. I wanted to understand them, to fix them if I could. I didn’t like that a friend wasn’t happy and I took it upon myself to think deeply about how to make things better.
Over the years, I learned that my friends were not looking for that type of support from me; they wanted an ear to listen and maybe ask questions once in a while. They weren’t looking for me to fix things, and the reality was, I couldn’t. It was an impossible task. Above all, they definitely didn’t want me to experience “second-hand stress”.
My ability to feel deeply has been extremely helpful in my life and I’ve also had to learn how to manage the challenges of this quality. As a community leader of a small beta testing community where I know almost everyone, I’m actively practicing (what I would assume will be a lifelong journey) to let things go and not take on other peoples’ emotions.
Holding Space for Yourself
In the last year, I’ve found that I’m in great company among other community leaders; it makes a lot of sense that a bunch of empaths work in roles focused on gathering people, building relationships, and helping community members feel like they belong.
All to say, emotional self-care has played a vital role in my life and is something I am continuously working on as a community leader. It can be hard to find practices we vibe with; self-care isn’t one size fits all and in different seasons of life, what we need within a self-care practice might look or feel different.
Here are a few self-care practices have been helpful for me recently. I’m sharing these in hopes that other community leaders see this honest journey of trying on new practices and realize they’re not alone; after all, we’re all out here trying to figure things out.
Journaling
I’ve been reading The Artist’s Way and following The Morning Pages practice for two months now with the help of an accountability buddy who’s also doing the same. It’s been extremely helpful to have a dedicated space (those three blank pages) to share what I’m thinking about, work-related or not. The book recommends starting each day with this practice, but sometimes I find the most time for it at night, in which case it can be a nice way to close out the day and decide what I want thoughts and feelings I want to bring into the following day vs. leave behind.
Creating structure for after-work activities
I’m a planner and I like having plans. I also like having alone time, but I don’t always prioritize it. For the last 6 weeks, I’ve been blocking off intentional “me time” on my calendar throughout the week so that I only make social plans on certain days and ensure personal recharge time. If it’s on my calendar, it’s important and happening!
Using tech to encourage more time offline
I’ve started doing more Slack huddles (audio-only calls) instead of video chats when possible. I also just started setting a Slack reminder to log off from work at a consistent time each night. This makes more time for me to spend outdoors, moving my body, or engaging in another activity that energizes me. I’ve also enabled several phone limitations, including focus mode and restrictions for time spent on social media to encourage more time spent off my screens. Catherine Price’s work has been a real game-changer for me and my relationships with my devices.
Having ready-to-go, easy creative projects
I have a bunch of craft projects on-hand at home when I’m looking for an hour or two to replenish my energy and creativity. Diamond painting has become a new hobby of mine. I also have a cross-stitch project that arrived in the mail calling my name. Watercolor painting, sending snail mail to friends (and doodling on the envelopes), and reading fiction have been other forms of self-care I lean on over and over again.
How do you find time for self-care as a community leader?
If you liked this article, check these out:
- How Voice Notes Have Changed My Work-Life
- An Insiders Perspective on the Best Places to Meet Other Community Leaders
- Or, if you’re on a solopreneur looking for more support, accountability and focus join Groove’s online coworking community to get sh*t done and have a good time while you’re at it ➡️ groove.ooo
