Reviewing The 5 Love Languages — A Sharing of Love Language №3: Receiving Gifts
In our everyday lives, we exchange gifts for various reasons. However, how does receiving gifts translate into love? Let us discuss.
We previously discussed how Words of Affirmation and Quality Time could be languages of love and how they can help you enjoy a more meaningful and impactful dating relationship. The giving and receiving of gifts is an integral Language of Love. When one remembers their dating partner affectionately and gives a gift out of appreciation, this brings about feelings of affection towards their dating partner and prolongs the relationship in the long term. While some might think that the giving or receiving of gifts makes a person superficial, gift giving represents so much more than just the gift.
Gifts and Money
Excessively thinking about the monetary value of a gift you are giving to a dating partner could have adverse effects and push them away rather than draw them closer to you. Give one that is of experiential value.
Gift of Self
The book goes on to say that sometimes, just being present for your partner is the most significant present you could give them. It demonstrates the commitment to your partner; that you can be there for them come what may. We found it interesting that the book mentioned an example whereby a husband is not present for his wife during childbirth.t demonstrated the importance of being present for your partner at critical junctures of their lives. In this way, the presence of self is a gift.
Intrigued, I deep-dived into some psychological research on the subject. It is interesting to note that psychological research supports this view for the most part. According to a research study conducted by two researchers from the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, relationship improvements on a romantic level were most noticeable when gifts were given from a place of genuine emotional attachment and concern rather than out of esteemed material value. The researchers, Cindy Chan and Cassie Mogilner (2014), even ventured to offer some advice based on their findings:
“To make your friend, spouse, or family member feel closer to you, give an experience.”
Indeed, on a non-relationship front, I always recount how my mother would refuse any gifts on Mother’s Day saying that ‘me being her daughter was the biggest gift of all.’ Perhaps that devotion extends to the romantic realm where the giving of gifts is concerned. Some people value the presence of their partners and view the experience of being in a relationship with said person as being a gift in itself. Whether your partner possesses this trait or not is something you must pay attention to when bestowing them with gifts.
Tips for giving gifts of love!
With the above in mind, here are some useful tips on how to speak the love language of receiving gifts so you may keep your partner’s tank on full:
Try giving a parade of gifts rather than a single gift.
Give a different gift at various points in the day. This could be chocolates in the morning, flowers in the afternoon and a wallet in the evening. This way, your partner’s love tank will always be on full!
Let nature be your guide.
The next time you take a walk in nature, pick some fresh flowers along the way to give your partner. Gifts of nature are always the most precious.
Give them handmade gifts.
Exercise those pottery or scrapbooking skills to give a homemade gift your partner will truly cherish!
Give your dating partner a gift-a-day for one week.
Make it a week of gifting rather than a day of gifting, and they will think of you in the most sentimental ways!
Keep a ‘gifting notebook’.
As soon as your spouse suggests a gift they might like, jot it down in this designated notebook. It shows you are thoughtful.
Ask a mutual friend for help.
If you are stumped as to what to get your partner, ask a friend that knows them well to provide some suggestions!
Give your partner a book.
You may read the book with them and make it a weekly point of discussion!
Give your partner the gift of presence.
Be there for them at crucial moments!
Give a lasting tribute.
Donate some money to your partner’s favorite cause, charity or place of worship. They will feel a strong sense of gratitude towards you for it!
Giving a living gift.
Plants or animals work well as gifts too. You can strengthen your emotional connection and bond with your significant other by taking care of the living being too!
Conclusion
All in all, we felt this chapter was quite integral to the concept of love languages. Words of Affirmation and Quality Time are great, but they need something more substantial and tangible to back them up. In other words, positive reinforcement. So go ahead and give your dating partner a gift every now and again. Even on days where there is no special occasion, such as a wedding anniversary or birthday. They will be all the more thankful towards you for it!
References:
Society for Personality and Social Psychology. (2014, December 22). The psychology of gift-giving and receiving. ScienceDaily. Retrieved October 3, 2018. from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/12/141222111553.htm
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