Losing Joe — The Four Letter Word That Defines My Son is Love

Chapter 3

From the moment Joe was born, I knew there was something special about him. He had a way of altering darkness into a beautiful, bright light. He brought people together, and it was easy to forget about all the problems in life just by being in his presence. Joe made every day the world a better place. I consistently told my son, “Someday, you’re going to accomplish great things in life.” Quite often, Joe would approach me with that gorgeous smile, wrap his strong and confident arms around me, and kiss my forehead. He had such a huge, loving heart. Every day was an “I love you, Momma.”

There’s one word that jumps immediately to my mind when I think about Joe; it’s the 4-letter word that’s simple yet powerful in every way. It’s LOVE. Joe loved everybody, and everybody loved him right back. I don’t think he ever met anyone who didn’t like him, not that I know of anyway. Except for the day Joe fought another student at school, who just happened to be a wrestler on the high school wrestling team. He told me about a guy at school in his P.E. class, and he didn’t like him because he would say racist jokes about Hispanics, Black, Asians, and all races except White. Everyone would laugh with him because nobody dared to stand up to the guy. You could say he was somewhat of a bully, constantly stepping on other people.

Joe had enough one day and told the guy to shut up; he also told him his jokes weren’t funny! When school was over, Joe called and told me he would fight this guy after school. I begged him not to fight and began to cry, begging him to walk away. Worry and fear immediately consumed me, and my thoughts began racing; something terrible would happen to him. His words were exactly, “Mom, I cannot walk away. I’ll look like a sissy, Mom! I have to fight this guy! I love you!” My nephew EJ called me as soon as Joe hung up and told me everybody was going to park (off-campus) to watch this happen.

I was screaming, telling E.J. to try and stop this from happening. He reassured me that he would be there and everything would be okay and told me the same as Joe; he had to fight him. My next thought was whether or not Joe even knew how to fight. He never had any problems with anybody; he was well-liked by everyone and had many friends. A half-hour later, E.J. called me, “Aunt Laine, it’s over. He fought, and don’t worry; Joe is okay. He got his ass kicked, and now he’s laughing with everyone.” I asked E.J. what was funny about fighting. He began telling what happened afterward; Joe and the other guy shook hands, and they became instant friends! Joe earned more respect that day from the young man he fought and everybody watching because he dared to stand up to this person and knew he wouldn’t win this fight. But, it was the right thing to do, and as he put it, “Ma, I took one for the team.” From that day forward, not only did Joe become good friends with this young man for many years after high school, but the guy also stopped telling racist jokes in P.E. class. Joe was that guy who had a vibe about him; he could fight someone stronger than him and become friends afterward. That’s Joe, courageous and forgiving at the same time.

He had extraordinary charisma and got along with everyone he met throughout his life; pre-school, elementary, Jr. High, and High School, baseball coaches, football coaches, parents of friends, friends of friends, co-workers, and business owners. Instantly had their attention with a, “Hi, my name is Joseph.” A friend of his once told me Joe had a vibe, and he made everyone feels good. People genuinely loved being in his presence.