Losing Joe — Six Years Without You, Grief Has No Relevance with Time

Chapter 21

My grief is undergoing a transformation. While the intense pain still lingers within me, there is a shift occurring. It’s difficult to articulate, but after almost six years ( May 28th) my tears still come strong but seem to be a little less in between.

What does this mean? Why is it seem harder to breathe as I look at Joe’s pictures? Everybody’s life moves forward, except Joe’s. His friends have either gotten married or have started a family. Or, having more children. I often wonder if they talk or think about him? I don’t hear from anyone too much with the exception of a few who continually check in with me. Momma, how are you? Those four words mean so much to me!

My grief is shifting, changing, I’m not sure I can explain exactly what it looks like. But, it’s different. I don’t want it to change. I don’t like this feeling inside of me. Life is still so hard without Joe, THAT remains the same. And, time will keep moving forward but as each year passes by it will always feel like yesterday. I close my eyes and I see his beautiful smile, I hear his laughter, I see him holding me tightly saying “we are a team Mehh, I love you, I’m right here.” I take a deep breath and suddenly, I’m okay. For today.