Losing Joe — The Absence Of His Beautiful Life Grows Stronger Every Day

Chapter 7

As time progresses, nearly every other tangible evidence that Joe existed is being disappeared, slowly.

Yes, there are photographs, but even they are growing old while he is not. There are no longer fresh adventures captured on the phone. No new Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter posts. No new anything. And as he becomes less relevant to other people’s lives, the void between my experience and theirs grows ever larger because he is just as pertinent to my life as he ever was.

His absence grows larger. Every. Single. Day. And sometimes, when the world has forgotten him, all the bits and pieces of who he was in life and how he touched others float away in the ocean of human activity. I often become angry because it seems everybody has moved on. Does anyone ever think of Joe? Will they remember him in the busyness of life? I so envy their laughter in photos, weddings, birthdays, holiday gatherings, everybody with every one of their family members. Yet, one of mine is not here. I do a lot of self-talk when I go to that place in my head.

On those days, I cried more and felt lost more than ever. Part of my body parts are missing, and I no longer feel like a whole person. When those days happen, I may talk about Joe more or play a video to hear his voice; my heart yearns for my son. For 27 years, he has existed here with us. It’s impossible to live each day without remembering Joe.

Bear with me, please, because I need others to remember him too.