SASH — Sex and Relationships II

Workshop 2nd November 2022

The main aim of the recent session was to discuss Sex and Relationships. One of the main findings from the Research I have been doing is the need for connection and better communication and defining what a relationship actually is.

Exploring relationships, sex and personal issues in a safe space where people can explore through theatre and discussion, takes the pressure off the person when they actually have to do it in real life. It equips people with the tools EARLY to prevent awkward or potentially harmful situations later!

WHAT WE DID

• We discussed our relationships in our inner circle, family and then outer circles friends, health care professionals and social workers.
• We talked about the kind of qualities that a relationship should include and we mapped these in a brainstorming session.
• We talked about the kinds of things you don’t do in relationships and also how we want to be treated

The group then talked through a scenario about a person who needs to go on a short holiday for a friend’s wedding but that they needed to keep costs down and also stay longer due to having CFS and if it was okay for the person to share a bed with someone else who could act as a carer and also a person who could help.

The group decided it would be good if the person knew/ met the person first and how they would need to talk about how they would ‘act’ and how they would like to be in the bed first before going on holiday.

We discussed the discussed the ‘persona’ and problem which has been surfaced from real research.

Xena is 35 years old. She is polyamorous. She is chronically ill with CFS. She does not get to go to parties often. But she has been invited to a wedding.

She wants to go with someone who will care for her. Who will be able to take her luggage. And also who she can share a bed with, because it will be too expensive to get two beds.

What should Xena do?

Xena would like to have a partner and also a family, in a polyamorous relationship.

POTENTIAL PROMPTING FOR XENA

Xena’s friend — What do you want to do Xena? Can you put it into words?

Xena — I would like to go to a party because I haven’t been for ages. I have been invited to a wedding but because of my illness I will need to go up and back in 3 days, rather than one. So I will need to stay over 2 nights somewhere so I can get my energy up to travel.

Xena’s friend — So you want a friend to go with you?

Xena — No, I want a friend who I can share a bed with. And who can also carry my suitcase as it will be too exhausting for me.

What should Xena do?

WHAT WE DID

Brainstormed ideas

Empathy

So what is it in your belief system?

• What are the traditions in place around our ideas?
• Could we help Xena imagine a scenario?
• Is there a possibility that there is a ‘right’ and ‘good’?

Ethics

How will we safeguard Xena?

What can we do to keep her safe?

Cost

How will we keep costs down?

Inherited family beliefs

Tradition: That only people who are together sexually should share a bed.

Choices

Xena — how do we support Xena to navigate this situation?

Discuss — things Xena could do?

KEY INSIGHTS from this session

• Service users are watching YouTube videos about how to approach the opposite sex and what they should say.
• Service users don’t know how to navigate some situations, like how to approach a someone to spark a relationship.
• Religion can divide people sometimes, but the group agreed all that when it comes to relationships, it matters how you make the other person feel, not what religion they subscribe to.
• The group discussed the relationship circle — that people have to earn their place as your close family. Not all blood related family members are also in your inner circle.

*SESSION PLAN BELOW

The learning objectives for participants was

-Building empathy

-Define a relationship

-Identifying safeguarding

-Identifying inherited biases from religion or family structure

-External pressures and beliefs

-Saying ‘difficult things’

Warm up:

Talking about relationships can be awkward and bring up hard feelings. We used the large red bouncing ball to check in our feelings and pass it round the room.

1. Say how you feel today

2. Say how you feel about the session. Pass it on