What Comes Before You Get Radically Candid?
As I listened to Kim Scott, I very much agreed with the principles of the Radical Candor methodology. I am familiar with the same concepts by other phrases — the most caring thing you can do for someone is tell them the truth, omission is the same as lying, etc. I like the catchy name though and the 2x2 matrix is on point.
I have seen the principles play out in various situations, both when they have been applied effectively and not. As the example for when Radical Candor was lacking — My sister is in the middle of transitioning out of her first job after undergrad, largely because she lacked adequate feedback from her superiors, until it was simply too late. I had a sideline view to this situation as it played out, and was reminded how important it was for direct reports to get the information about their performance early and frequently. On the other hand, I have experienced the benefits of candid feedback. Specifically, one of my boss’s inclination for direct feedback helped me improve in my job as a consultant. I was in my third case as a junior consultant, and I was barely realizing all the things that I had been doing wrong through this feedback — sometimes that feedback was delivered in private or in public (literally yelling across the team room), but it helped. I am very thankful for the Radical Candor.
After leaving class, I had a lingering question about what actually comes first in this framework. Can you truly start a relationship with Radical Candor? Aren’t there some prerequisites to being able to use this type of interaction? Kim mentioned that “trust gets built on Radical Candor,” but I’m confused about this. When I’ve seen Radical Candor deployed effectively and land as intended on the receiving party, it’s when there is rapport, trust, and an understanding that you meet the minimum bar for competency with respect to your job description. For example, my boss (from above story) was radically candid with clients and it was his strength, but he had learned that he couldn’t start from Day 1 of the relationship with this approach. He had to “fill the bank of goodwill” by delivering good work, having the client’s back in meetings with the C-suite, and just being a competent and responsive advisor which was line item #1 on his job description. The other approach, coming in guns blazing with the candor on Day 1 was often not welcome.
I know Kim mentioned that even the stranger who helped her realize that Belvedere needed some training could establish that he cared with the sentence “I can see that you really care about your dog.” However, I suspect that interaction was fine because that man wasn’t forming a longer-term relationship with Kim after that. If there was that expectation, then maybe that interaction would not have been the best start to that relationship.
I would love to learn more about how you really kick-start radically candid interactions in new relationships.
