Making the most of ourselves
People say “just do your best” and “follow your passion.” They say “round out your skillset.”
People also say “make your best better” and “be practical.” They say “focus on your strengths.”
Before long, we’re making pros and cons lists that subconsciously cancel each other out. Caught in a decision that seems life-changing, we waver before we take the leap, all the while glancing around in case we missed a wholly different option.
Analysis paralysis. Indecisiveness. There are many names for it. The root of it, though, is that we are afraid we cannot change our decisions after we make them. That somehow they will determine our identity for the rest of our life.
Jeff Lee was a reminder that we choose what to make of each opportunity and what to make of ourselves. He reminded us that our choices can change. From lawyer to President of ARod productions, here are a few lessons I learned:
- Take the job
Take the job and make it into a 95% fit.
How many times do we debate an opportunity because it’s not the company we were expecting, the role we thought would be best, or the industry we thought most relevant?
There is no such thing as 100% fit, especially in today’s market. You take the job and you make it 95% fit by getting there and being kickass. It’s amazing the doors that hard work will open.
No matter how hard we try, we’ll never know what the roads of our lives look like, and they can intertwine in surprising ways. To use an old idiom, perfect is the enemy of good.
2. You can pivot
Every day we consume the narratives and stories that others want us to hear. Buy this car — it’ll get you a life partner. Wear this brand — you’ll feel like one of those catwalk models. Drink this protein, vegan, non-GMO, all-natural smoothie — you’ll be [fill in the blank].
We need to fill in our own blanks. We need to write our own narrative. When we make the leap of change, we need to tell our own story. The plot is already there — we tried something, it was great, now we want something different. Now we just need to take that plot and spice it up with detail, show what we learned, show why we want what’s next, and link them together. We all have a story. We’re all walking, breathing novels. We just have to share them.
The last ingredient is, once again, hard work. When we pivot, we’re in someone else’s court. We can’t half-ass it, we need to kickass again. To make the story compelling, we need to back up the narrative with hard work that shows we know what it takes to change our industry, career, personal life — and that we’re ready for it.
3. Reputations are built by doing
Jeff broke down a reputation into two tiers:
- Tier 1: The descriptors you find on your resume — your expertise, skills, and background.
- Tier 2: What others observe the minute you walk in the door — your ethics, trustworthiness, adaptability, and resilience.
In other words, the proof is in the pudding. Make sure you like what flavor of pudding you're eating. If you don’t, you can change it. Our reputations enter the room before we arrive and linger long after we leave. We need to search ourselves for the type of reputation we want to build. We need to validate our internal perception of our reputation with the external world. Do mentors, peers, and friends perceive us the same way that we do? Can they give us critical feedback that helps us develop the right flavor of pudding?
We are often caught between all the things that “people say,” and waver because we underestimate the power of our own narrative, hard work, and capacity to change. We underestimate the ability to make the most of ourselves. It’s time to make a decision, knowing it won’t be our last, and make the decision to be happy with our decision. And then kickass.
