Ultimate Guide to Not Being a Jerk

By : Abbi Gunter

Being kind to people is not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes we can get a bit out of control. I admit that even I let myself slip up every once and awhile. However, just because this isn’t an easy thing to do, that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t do it. People are affected by what you say and how you treat them. Your words and actions can make or break someone’s day. In this day and age we are not focusing enough on controlling ourselves. It is becoming more and more socially acceptable for people to behave rashly. This is why I would like to take some time to remind everyone of how we should be treating others, with kindness. If this is something you struggle with then stick around a bit longer as we introduce to you: “The Ultimate Guide to Not Being a Jerk”

Be Polite

This may sound like the most basic thing you could hear in a post like this but bear with me. Think about a person you have met who you think is the nicest person you could meet. Now imagine if you were walking behind them into a room and rather than holding the door they just slammed it in your face with full knowledge that you were there. Something doesn’t feel right about that right? You take it for granite but being polite can have a huge effect on yourself, how you feel, and how you make others feel. Being polite is the first step in becoming a non jerk.

The foundation of all polite interactions is by simply saying two words: please and thank you. These two words make the difference between a rude encounter and a pleasant one. Imagine asking someone for a favor, say you need to borrow a phone charger. one way you could say this is “hey, I need your phone charger”. While this isn’t exactly the rudest sentence to say, still if someone were to say this to me my first thought definitely wouldn’t be that they were a polite person. Instead of saying that you could say “could I please borrow you phone charger”. This way you aren’t going way overboard but you are still being polite. I have complete and total faith in you with this. Saying please is the easiest thing you can do. All you have to do is just think before you ask for something say please.

Now that you have “please” down you can move on to saying thank you. This i’ve noticed people struggle with. Nobody thinks that they struggle with it, it’s not that nobody is a polite person I just think that they forget. One thing that I have recently noticed and payed attention to is when people hold the door open for others. When someone holds the door open for the they are doing you a favor and the polite thing to do would be to say thank you. I go to a crowded high school and I often see that people will walk through doors being held open to them and not say a word. I myself didn’t even start noticing this until someone held the door opened for me one day. I said “thank you” and they replied “you are the first person out of like 10 that said thank you!” . People get so used to having things done for them, I think they forget that it’s just common courtesy to thank the person going out of their way to help to help you. Next time someone does something for you make sure you say thank you. It makes them feel good and it will show them that you’re a decent person. It doesn’t feel good to go out of your way for someone and not even get a thank you in return.

Once you’ve got “please” and “thank you” down you can move on to the next step: Greetings. When you are starting a conversation with someone, not necessarily your friends but maybe a teacher or someone you aren’t close to, you should make sure that you start your conversation in a polite manner. Maybe you are at school one morning see someone you recognize, you should should start by smiling and saying “good morning”. That way you can start out your morning with you and them feeling good. When starting a conversation you should be sure to consider the person you are talking to. If you are talking to a friend your greeting would be more lenient. However if you were talking to a teacher you would want to sound more polite. You could say something such as “Hello ________, How are you?”

Random Acts of Kindness

A Good way to not be a jerk is by doing the exact opposite of what a jerk would do. Think about it, If a jerk does mean things and is rude to people ten the opposite would be to be polite and to do nice things. This brings us to my next tip for you: Random acts of kindness. This could be as simple as holding open a door or as elaborate as throwing a surprise birthday.

Kindness: “the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.”

Doing random acts of kindness is about putting yourself out there and helping someone out. This can be a little uncomfortable for some people. Keep in mind that it is only as hard as you make it, You don’t have to go all out if you are not ready. You can start with the little things, think about something you can do to help. Maybe the microwave at your home or workplace is always dirty and it needs to be cleaned. You could take a few minutes to clean it out, this will impact everyone who uses it. Even though it’s just a little thing it still makes people a little bit more happier.

Sometimes an act of kindness could simply be just giving up some of your time, to talk, to volunteer, or to comfort someone. For instance, say you are at work or school and you notice that someone you know seems a little down. You could go over and try to talk to them and maybe cheer them up, or you could give them a compliment. If you choose to give them a compliment it has to be genuine. Rather than saying something basic like “oh I like your jacket”, think of something more meaningful to say. For example, maybe you saw a presentation or something they did you could say “hey that presentation you did on the mountain gorillas in Africa was really cool!”. This way they know that you are giving them a genuine compliment and they aren’t just a second thought.

There’s a start

So far I have given you your first steps to being a good person. You now know the absolute minimum you have to do to not be considered a jerk. You have your foundation and now it’s your job to build on it. If you are serious about being a good person then I encourage you to work hard. Weather your serious or not, you still came looking for advice which means you are trying. For that You have my respect.

“if you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make a change” -Michael Jackson

Good luck!