Autoplay
The station of agony, comfort, and wistfulness
Black and white stripes, a packed suitcase, the sun, and a voiceover. Sometimes when I really want to get started and can’t, I play a scene from a movie — any movie and note the first four things that catch my attention.
I’m borrowing from someone else’s work, and that’s okay. Artists know what it feels like to be stuck. I don’t think they would mind; I wouldn’t.
Sad, romantic songs get me. I’ve been listening to my playlist titled “Comfortably Sick” and auditing it for the past two days. If it was possible, it’s more melancholic now, with not an upbeat beat in sight. When I can’t feel, I use them like a soothing balm, a vibe I can stay with — get lost in.
I’m in love with love, always have been. Being in a long-term, healthy relationship taught me the difference between fantasy and real life, and I understand what is right when it comes to my relationship with my partner.
Working on myself, on us, and growing together is a big part of my life. Choosing each other every day and all the jazz. People say I’m lucky, and you know what I am. Because if I hadn’t found the right person to share my life with, I fear that I would still be chasing a dangerous illusion.
