I’m Tricking My Mind Into Taking a Pre-vacation Vacation
Because things are getting too weird for my taste
It’s like always having a tab open, even when I’m sleeping. And it’s literally open on my laptop which I never seem to shut down anymore. Ideas come in without invitation, forming tasks, blocking together towards a mindset that I need to create to get through this infinite waiting period.
Is it the same for everyone else? Some at least? Guess it’s hard to post a picture of a never-ending to-do list, which you constantly question the validity of. Every little thing adds to a pit of fear growing in my stomach.
When I’m deciding whether to go on vacation or not, that seems like the biggest challenge. Prepare yourself and figure things out, and finish the bookings. Then comes the worst — a period of indecisiveness, never settling on one thing for long enough but not being able to let things go either.
It was supposed to be a good thing, I whisper, terrified to speak at a higher decibel. I can’t shake the feeling that after years of effort, managing expectations, and curating controlled experiences, I’m back at square one.
This is a simple weekend getaway for two adults. But if you look at the work I’m putting in and the mountains to climb that lay ahead, you’d think I’m…
