A ‘VOID’ of Feelings
I’m confused, I have a lot to do. It’s not like I’m doing nothing, but I still feel empty sometimes. Adaptation to a new country (even if some time has passed), a new language and culture, new people and environments… Am I losing myself or am I actually disappearing in a search? I haven’t realized this yet.
People,
People seem strange to me now. Yes, I am young, but for some reason I feel the feeling of nostalgia. Why aren’t people like they used to be? Why does every relationship have to be so difficult? Friendship, trust, romance, peace… Everyone always talks about everything, but it’s empty… Is it empty, or does it really have a meaning and a value?
Perspective is an interesting and a very powerful word. Personality, values and ‘meaning’. Is there such a thing? Or are they just ornaments to our psychology?
PSYCHOLOGY,
I wonder… It let me down these past years. Is it a seasonal thing or does it ‘exist’? Isn’t life about that anyway… Emotions, communication, LIFE, time… I don’t know; I tried to search, I’m searching, but will I find it? No comment…
Fatigue, why is there such a feeling? Being able to break away from everything at any time, getting bored very quickly, getting frustrated, not getting it… Oh, you are so young, what is this TIREDNESS? You haven’t done ANYTHING yet in this life!
Who says this, who decides? How did I not do ANYTHING? I’m alive and living in my own ways, isn’t that enough?
Prejudice,
Don’t be prejudiced, everything has a reason and a process. Yes, but this is IMPOSSIBLE. Even though I try not to be prejudiced, isn’t every minute of life actually starting with prejudice? LISTEN, listen so that you can try to understand what is explained to you (even if it is implicit)… MEANING; What if I don’t want to understand, what if I understand it differently? No, this is a problem: but on the other hand, it’s not actually. Because every person is DIFFERENT.
Difference,
I have understood this very well in the last two years. This is the reality of life, no matter how much we try to cover it up. We are different, you are different, they are different… But does everyone defend equality? I don’t know…
CRITICISM,
Don’t you get tired? You know, I’m really asking about CRITICISM of everything. What if you just sit and listen sometimes? I know, it’s very difficult to remain uncommented on some things, but why don’t you try?
I’m getting tired… I’m getting tired of listening to your criticism.
It’s like you don’t criticize at all! Yes; I do, but I’m starting to get tired, so I prefer to shut up and listen. True, I have learned this much better in the last two years.
Oppression,
Everyone has their own problems! Yes, I do not compare anyone to the ‘pressure’ that exists against them in life, I have respect and understanding, but sometimes I feel very narrow. You could say I’m feeling overwhelmed.
EMPATHY,
This might be my favorite word. I try to use it everywhere, and I do, but maybe it overwhelms people. I don’t use this concept that often, but I can’t help it: maybe I’m an empath…
Sometimes all I want is a little understanding and EMPATHY.
Questioning,
I often wear myself out a lot: Don’t think about it, it is NONSENSE, it will pass! Sometimes I say this to those who tell me their problems. It’s wrong, I know, but sometimes I don’t know what else to say…
To think; thinking too much,
I wish I could turn off the ignition once in a while, wouldn’t everyone want that? A few days, months or years without feeling or doing anything… IMPOSSIBLE, at least for the moment…
EMPTY
Maybe this is all in vain… After all, what is life? It just flows. Every minute, every second is different…
Excitement,
EXCITEMENT in this space? Yes, it is instantaneous and the excitement felt for everything. I think I might be distracting myself, maybe just to feel that movement…
Promise,
I said a few words; Maybe I cleared my head, maybe I really do have problems. Who knows? When I didn’t even know…
BUT thank you anyway; To most things, to most people and to myself…
