Focusing on your values is the game-changing element of your life
It is energy-consuming to worry about things we can not control, but somehow we continue to do so… Why? Probably because it is scary to accept that we can not have everything under control. As humans, we all have an inherent inclination to control various aspects of our lives. This urge to keep everything on track and under control comes from our desire for stability, security and a sort of order in anything that surrounds us. However, the reality is that we can not control all that is happening or will happen in our lives. Instead, we must learn the art of prioritizing and delegating tasks to focus on what truly enriches us, so that our energy is invested in something that is actually worth it.
Setting priorities is the key to managing this urge to control. It requires an intense and deep personal analysis, trying to identify what is most fundamental for you. Those things that you recognize as important are, those that define which type of person you want to be. I know that life, especially nowadays, is filled with different distractions that frequently make us lose sight of what we really need to put our focus on.
Since it can sound highly challenging, start with the basics. Make a list of your personal core values so that you will clearly understand what truly stands out in life from your point of view. Indeed, focusing on what is important to you will slowly and indirectly build the life you aim to live. What truly matters to you? Is it your family, your career, your hobbies or your personal well-being?
Once you’ve done so, setting short- and long-term goals should be way easier because they will align with your life values and priorities. Now, here comes the hard part: learning to say no. You should have noticed that certain activities you normally do, do not align with your goals. These are obstacles that you want to remove from your path. It can not be done from one day to another, so take it step by step. At the beginning, it is great to start with mini-goals so that you will see results easily and be committed enough to go on with your plan. We all know that life is unpredictable, so be patient and learn to adapt yourself, even in the most uncomfortable situations. External factors, such as the actions of others, may modify or disrupt our predefined path. Be conscious that the essential things to have under control are those that are coordinated by your personal will, everything else is something that is not even trackable.
So, if everything may change, what is the point of all this self-work? Here comes the best part! Often, what we dream about is just a small percentage of what we could really achieve. Life is all about giving and receiving: the more attention you give to what you evaluate the most, the more you will gain from these things.
You may argue that these are just my personal speculations and there is nothing wrong in disagreeing even though I would never say never. The point, however, is that you should not get obsessed with a single idea of success or achievement. We live in a world that is full of opportunities waiting for us, if we demonstrate a decent level of flexibility, so let the world surprise you. Moreover, learning to be open-minded and proactive will lower your level of stress, anxiety and disappointment drastically, while also open you infinite doors.
At the end of the day, it is just you and your thoughts. I can assure you that the deep satisfaction of dedicating your energy to what genuinely matters in life, will grant you a serene and restful sleep, leaving you at peace with yourself.
