The Trick to Designing Rewarding Habits
In this article, you will learn how to properly approach and design your behavior change strategies in a way that will be highly rewarding, fun even! And, the best part is it works on those stubborn, hard-to-stay-motivated habits too!! I’ll walk you through a step-by-step process and provide you with a free template for you to utilize with any of your behavior change goals. With a new month just around the corner, this is perfect timing for you to take advantage of the #FreshStartEffect, too!
Do you struggle with sticking to your well-intended habits?
We have all been there … so frustrated with yourself because you have read the articles, saved the workout videos, summoned your last bit of self-respecting discipline, and maybe even created a beautiful plan of attack for your new habit. You are riding the energetic momentum of a fresh start … then BAM, you are confronted with the seemingly impossible-to-overcome waves of life that pound down on top of you? 🌊🌊🌊
You know this is you, because it leaves you and your master plan soaked in a pile of tears or ripped into tiny little shreds! Too dramatic? Or totally relatable?
I’ve been there! Wondering, “What’s so wrong with me that I can’t get it together enough to follow through with the things I KNOW I desire?”
Stopping and starting is so exhausting!
I’ve tried the victim approach … That only spiraled into more self-destruction. (Please spare yourself from this approach!)
I’ve tried the emotionless, white-knuckling approach of, “I’m going to do this if it’s the last thing I do on earth.” Phew, was that draining!
It worked in the short term, but I always ended up feeling defeated.
Neither of these approaches worked for me, and I eventually understood why — They were not rewarding! I eventually began to find the middle ground, the place where I learned that true habit formation leading to a fulfilling life came from:
- knowing myself,
- knowing my reasons for the desired change,
- balancing my habits into my lifestyle, and, most importantly,
- exploring what intrinsically and extrinsically motivated me.
I learned that properly planning my reward milestones was a total game changer for me and my clients. I now feel confident that if there is a habit I want to create, I can build a plan that pulls me toward success with much greater ease. Want to learn how I do it? Let’s dig in!
Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash
The trick is choosing meaningful, personalized, and timely rewards that ensure motivation stays high and consistency becomes a no-brainer.
The idea that habit building has to be a total downer, is an idea that we can change with the proper design! So, what does it look like? First, let’s check out the three necessary steps we need to dig into, and then we’ll get to the fun part of selecting rewards. Because, just throwing rewards at the habit will not lead to lasting change. Grab a pen and paper, and let’s get started!
Step 1: Know Yourself
Sounds like a big step? Don’t worry, this exercise helps identify your desired feelings and understand what drives your intrinsic motivation. Usually a common feeling will develop. Keep this in mind for later.
- Write down a list of things you would like to accomplish in the next 6 weeks to 3 months.
- For each one, imagine you have achieved your goal. How do you feel, now that you’ve accomplished it? (Grounded, peaceful, proud, secure …)
Step 2: Know Your Reasons For The Desired Change
From the list you wrote in Step 1, select one habit that is highly desirable and answer these questions:
- Why do you want to develop this habit?
- How will your life be different after you achieve your goal?
- How will others be impacted by your positive change?
Step 3: Plan The Habit Into Your Lifestyle
This step is meant to set a CLEAR, ACTIONABLE intention, explore obstacles/barriers, and plan ahead to increase your likelihood of success.
- Decide when, where, and what you will do. This is called an Implementation Intention, and it’s a super powerful tool that allows you to specific and clear. Our brains love to follow instructions, so why not give it a command prompt to follow?
I will do [BEHAVIOR] at [TIME/DAY] in [LOCATION] after [PREVIOUS BEHAVIOR].
- What common obstacles do you face that prevent you from establishing your selected habit?
- For each obstacle, decide now how you will act when you inevitably face it.
If [OBSTACLE] happens, I will do [THIS INSTEAD].
- SCHEDULE your habit into your day. For singular habits, I like to plan at least one week out and up to one month.
Step 4: Set Rewarding Milestones
Now for the fun part!! Brainstorm some rewards that you could give yourself once reaching certain milestones toward your habit.
Caution: When choosing rewards, you want to be sure they meet these elements:
- It keeps you on track toward your goal and doesn’t sabotage your success (ie: you lose 2 pounds toward your weight loss goal so then you allow yourself dessert for the next week probably isn’t a great idea).
- You should feel AWESOME about your reward, not guilty or undeserving.
- You should feel that the reward fits your effort/milestone.
Decide what milestones you will reward yourself at. Will it be completion of 25%, 50%, 80%, 100%? Remember to choose meaningful-to-YOU — appropriate, personalized, and timely rewards that match your effort and accomplishment.
Reward Ideas:
- Entertainment 🎟: Tickets to a movie, symphony, museum, sporting event
- Food 🥑: Green smoothie, fancy restaurant, splurge on extra guac
- FREE 💃🕺: Nap, guilt-free lazy day, visit library, volunteer, dance
- Self-Care 💆♀️💅: Mani/pedi, hire a maid, massage
- Shopping 💎: New workout clothes, indoor plant, water bottle, jewelry
- Travel/Outdoors ✈🏕: Hiking, camping trip, book a weekend getaway
I believe this layered approach is the most beneficial, because it gives you small rewards early in your progress to celebrate your wins and consistency. As you continue to progress the rewards get bigger and more enticing thus keeping you motivated when weeks 3, 4, and 5 come around and motivation begins to wane.
So these are your extrinsic motivational factors. Now, remember those intrinsic motivation feelings from Step 1?
To make habit formation more rewarding and fun, we use both intrinsic and extrinsic rewards to keep motivation high and progress moving in the right direction. When you know what you are working toward, you are much more likely to succeed and have a fun time along the way!
Let’s say your desired feeling and intrinsic reward is to feel ACCOMPLISHED. When faced with decisions throughout the month, you can ask yourself questions like:
- Will the action I’m about to take make me feel accomplished?
- Which action can I take right now to feel more accomplished?
And after following through, recognize your feeling of accomplishment each and every time!
Final Thoughts
I hope this article gives you some ideas on how to approach your habits going forward in a much more rewarding and enjoyable way!! Please share your insights or takeaways as you think about how to strategically use rewards for your benefit! Tying in all of these steps, I created a Commitment Calendar that provides a structured way to map out and document your progress along the way toward your rewarding and consistent habits! Below is an example of what it looks like filled out and if you want to grab your own free copy, you can download it here!
I also host a free webinar toward the end of each month that will assist you in setting up your monthly habits. Click here to signup and get details.
To building better habits!
~Patty
To learn more about Patty and her coaching practice follow her on LinkedIn, Instagram, or join her private Facebook Group. She is also a Certified Habit Coach Professional and currently works for The Habit Coach Professionals as a Cohort Support Assistant.
