Why my voice is not being heard in the room?
3 lessons from professional voice class
“The current design is quite different from the spec from client. Do you think it’s better for us to redesign the front page instead of spending more time on the current design?”
Lily said at the beginning of a team meeting.
“Look at all the colour, they are all wrong!… ” It seems no one heard what Lily said, because there was no direct response. Lily felt disappointed and sad because everyone ignore her opinion, so she decided to keep her opinion to herself for the rest of the session. The rest of the meeting continued with people analyses the current design false. In the last 3 minutes of the meeting,
Alex stood up and said
“ Hey, team. The discussion has been great! However, to help us move forward, I suggest us to redesign the front page and this is the most effective approach to meet our timeline and client expectation. ”
Everyone nodded and agree on Alex’s proposal: “ This is a good idea, let’s do it!”
Lily felt hurt and invisible in that room because she doesn’t understand why this ALWAYS happen to her. No one seems be able to hear her and her opinion even that is a ‘good idea’ (because when Alex said it, everyone listen)
We all have been Lily in meeting before , at least I have, and probably pondering the same question “ Why my voice is not being heard in the room?”
Well, this is not going to be a blog about ego, gender inequality, timing etc, which I know these factors sometime play an important role in above situation too.
There is one other magic ingredient always play a critical but invisible role in how to communicate, influence and being heard.
And that is… VOICE
I recently attended a voice training class with VoiceBooth Sydney . This is my 1st professional voice training with voice coach/professional voice actors. I was surprised on how much I gained from this experience! It really helps me to aware the importance of voice and how to better leverage it to sound clearer, more engaging and more confident.
I want to share 3 ah ha moments from the class here:
1. Falling intonation makes you sounds more confident
As an ESL(English as second language) speaker, I have a tendency to over use the rising intonation and makes every sentence sound like a question. When my teacher asked me do a myself introduction, it almost sounds like I wasn’t even sure about what my name really is… By simply, replace all the rising intonation mindfully with falling intonation, it immediately raise my level of confidence in my voice.
2. The posture and body language matter
This is something I have never noticed before until my voice coach pointed out — I have difficulty to maintain eye contacts with others when I speak, especially during the video calls(well, the classes were doing over zoom, so he can only help pointing out my video call etiquette.)
My eyes and head were constantly shifting all over the screen, plus I hunched my back naturally. This combination makes both me look and sound unsettle, nervous and a little bit impatient.
Before my voice coach pointed out, I have never noticed this traits of me. After I consciously “fix” my eye focus and sit straight during my video calls, I can visibly observe the different reaction from others and I feel way more confident when I speak too.
The trick I discovered for not shifting my eyes too much during a zoom call – I always imagine that I only speak to 1 person and I will focus my eye on that 1 person.
The key lesson here for me: we all have some unconscious body language or posture may be hinge our voice and communication style.
We may not all need a professional voice coach, but it’s good to record and observe how we communicate (our body language and posture). You may also discover some “quick fix” that can immediate booster your voice.
3: Speed is not the issue
“Speaking too fast” has been a label since I grow up, one of the ELS teachers had physically put a Postnote of “Speak Slowly” on my desk. I feel extremely ashamed about my speaking speed and try to change it, but I never succeed.
Because deep down, I believed (rightly or wrongly) that speaking fast and energetic is the only way to convey my passion. It has become part of my communication style and worse, part of my identity.
So should I give up my whole communication style to speak slowly is a huge dilemma for me for years.
In the voice class, one of the classmates asked the question I am too scared to ask: “How do I speak slowly while maintain my the energy in my voice”
“Why do you need to speak slowly? ” the teacher reply.
“ Because people can’t hear me properly when I speak fast”
The teacher asked that classmate to speak normally first and then ask her to slow down to repeat the same message. To my surprise, the teacher actually agreed with her and validate my assumption:
“Speak at faster speed does suit your communication style better. The best way to address the concern on other people can’t hear properly is through better articulation and clear pronunciation”
And then the teacher made a statement that really make me feel like a epiphany:
“Speed is not the issue normally, clearness is”
I can’t describe how I feel at that moment!! I am so grateful to know there is a way to improve my communication style without give up who I am.
Above is the top 3 things I learnt from my recent voice classes. I made a decision to continue 1:1 coaching with my voice coach to continue the journey of finding my best voice and get my message across more effectively.
I will continue sharing my journey here.
Bonus:
I want to recommend a recent book I am reading on the topic of communication - <<Nonviolent Communication- a language of life>>. It really helps me understand more on the power of language and communication our needs. More in our future blog, but I want to end this one with my favourite quote from the book:
“At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.”
― Marshall B. Rosenberg
