Cohort Stories: Meet Michelle
vol. 5, no. 60 — guest post by Michelle Barnes
The biggest challenge I’ve overcome so far has been earning my bachelor’s degree. It took me 7 years and 3 schools, but I came out with 2 degrees — my AA and BA in mathematics. What complicated the journey most was being diagnosed with and beginning treatment for Generalized Anxiety and Major Depressive Disorders. College is a major life change in itself, but adding on top of that the sudden brick wall of recognizing and dealing with mental illness head-on, I honestly wondered if I’d ever make it through, if I’d survive my attempt to earn an undergraduate degree. There were a lot of bad days, even terrible days, but I had a lot of good people who held out their hands to support me through it all. It’s been an enlightening journey, and looking back I can see how much I’ve changed and grown and what I’ve learned about myself and about others. I think the most important lesson I learned is that my life is bigger than me. Anxiety and depression make the world feel so small and isolated, like you’re the only one who’s suffering and that you must bear it all alone; but in truth there are so many points of light, offered by the people around you and the experiences you have, that can hit you with the effect of the sun on a morning glory. There are times where I still curl in on myself in torrent of worry and self-doubt, but as time passes it gets a little easier to let the sunshine in.
Success in the tech industry, for me, looks like going to a job (by commute or by internet connection) where I do work that genuinely intrigues me and hopefully does some useful good for humanity.
With my strengths in data analysis, and my eyes fixed resolutely skyward, I’d love to be in a position that allows me to work collaboratively with a broad tapestry of people who are all as curious as I am about any and everything.
I will work hard and apply myself, do the best I can for my team, and whatever fruits I gain from my efforts I will redirect into those around me. In the dream-version of my later adulthood, my work life includes not just tech but also volunteering, particularly in programs dedicated to introducing girls of color to STEM. All it took for me was one book by the first female American astronaut, and I can hardly imagine what it would have felt like if that wonderful woman had also looked like me! So if I can look back on my career and say, “I did fascinating work with a fantastic array of fellow knowledge-seekers and together we advanced humanity’s understanding of our universe, plus I was able to use what gifts I earned along the way to be the face I wish I had seen when I was a child,” I would consider myself as having succeeded in the tech industry.
There are two things that have always pushed me forward through life: my insatiable curiosity about the nature of our world, and an equally strong desire to do as much good for as many people as I can. The latter desire doesn’t necessarily need to come from my career (though it wouldn’t hurt!), but through leaving a little bit of knowledge and good vibes with every person I meet. My ultimate goal is to work for NASA in an analytical position, something similar to the research I did with my physics professor (but I’d ecstatic to work there in just about any capacity!). NASA’s work may seem out of touch and esoteric compared to some of the more immediate issues humanity faces here on Earth, but I firmly believe that there isn’t much that is more optimistic and uplifting to the whole human race than exploring our place in the universe. I’m used to my path in life being windy and full of unexpected turns, so I know the road I take to get to my desired future career may not be straightforward or predictable. However, I’m determined to see where it leads me and learn something every step along the way.
