Struggling to Reboot
…or how I’m digging out of this hole.
Over the last couple of years I’ve made a lot of changes. Wrok/life balance, the sum total and quality of people I spend time with, and what I determine to be successful daily work. As with any software or hardware change though, each involves a reboot; a fresh start on new and/or improved processes. This is typically an exciting time for me as I love a “fresh start”. My years as an entrepreneur have shaped and improved that love of the start-up time, but now I’m posed with a question.
What happens when the reboot doesn’t go smooth
Think of it as a BSOD in life. You reset again with all new software, a new direction, or new game plan, hit reboot, and something goes wrong. Bad packets, a horrible life experience, injury, loss of family or friend connection, anything really… and boom. Big old Blue Screen of Death. It turns out we all run on Microsoft to some extent.
In the IT world, it’s not too hard to recover. Just back up a step, figure out what went wrong or do a full recovery. In life, I’m learning it isn’t quite so simple. In a lot of cases, you can’t “put the bullets back in the gun”, life and relationship breaks take time to heal, rather than replace, and a total reformat hasn’t been available since the days of the lobotomy… despite our repeated requests. Maybe one day we’ll have a solution but we’ve all seen Total Recall. Probably not a great idea.
One goal, One day, one hurdle.
The hardest part I’ve come across is a lack of clear goals since the BSOD. If you don’t have goals, you end up running around in circles with nowhere to score. No one wins. My big goals became obstructed by the noise of my little goals so prioritization had to happen. I started within easy one. Leave the house and talk to people. Sounds simple enough, particularly for someone like me, but anxiety was killing me for the first time in my life.
Along with working small goals, I had to fix my body and my relationships. Some are going better than others, but I’ll I can do is work to improve daily. The hardest part of it all has been my struggle with the big picture, but it’s not time yet.
Time to add some structure.
The only way I’ll be able to dig all the way out of this is to bring some regular schedule into place over time. That’s right. The start-up guy is going to get on a real schedule and calendar. “Working from home” over a long period of time becomes more like “living at your office”. There’s no clean break between the two and after a while you start to feel guilty about not working or dad-ing all the time. It’s time to make that change as well, even if it means just finding some co-work space. It’s time.
Finally, I’ll smile on purpose.
Spending the bulk of your time solo, you don’t tend to laugh or even speak very much. This is already changing. Have you ever made yourself smile when you were just numb or bored? At first you feel like an idiot, but after some time, you genuinely start to feel better. Try it out sometime.
There’s my experience and game plan. I’m open to all types of suggestions and similar stories. What works for you?
