As a startup founder, I work alone mostly and have had many moments of doubt. Each day is a roller coaster ride with all kinds of noise distracting me, every fear is amplified because I have little feedback during the day.
Recently I read a book by Marie Kondo — ‘The life changing magic of tidying’. I followed the principles and my psychologically state completely changed. The book is about how tidying could help us reduce distractions in life and focus on what’s really important. Just want to share this with you so you could experience it too:
When a room becomes cluttered, the cause is more than just physical
Marie Kondo: Visible mess helps distract us from the true source of the disorder. The act of cluttering is really an instinctive relax that draws our attention away from the heart of an issue. If you can’t feel relaxed in a clean and tidy room, try confronting your feeling of anxiety. It may shed light on what is really bothering you.
When your room is clean and uncluttered, you have no choice but to examine your inner state. You can see any issues you have been avoiding and are forced to deal with them. From the moment you start tidying, you will be compelled to reset your life. As a result, your life will start to change.
That’s why the task of putting your living space in order should be done quickly. It allows you to confront the issues that are really important. Tidying is just a tool, not the final destination. The true goal should be to establish the state of mind you want most once your house has been put in order.
Start with discarding
Marie Kondo: People who can’t stay tidy an be categorised into just three types: the ‘can’t-throw-it-away’ type, the ‘can’t-put-it-back’ type and the ‘first-two-combined’ type. 90% third category, 10% ‘can’t-put-it-back’ type. …because anyone who can’t throw things away will soon end up with so much stuff that their storage space overflows.
Effective tidying involves only two essential actions: discarding and deciding where to store things. of the two, discarding must come first.
Most people find it hard to discard things, including myself. This is because, in addition to the physical value of things, there are three additional factors that add value to our belongings: function, information and emotional attachment. When the element of rarity is added, the difficulty in choosing what to get rid of multiplies. People have trouble discarding things that they could still use (functional value), that contain helpful information (informational value), and that have sentimental ties (emotional value). When these things are hard to obtain or replace (rarity), they become even harder to throw away.
Here is how to tackle this problem.
Discard criteria — does it spark joy?
According to the Konmari method, the criteria to decide whether to keep something is simple: Does it spark joy?
As you tidy by category, hold each item in my hand and ask that question. You will became better at making such decisions and realised most things actually didn’t increase my happiness. You will realise you are better without them.
Marie Kondo outlined the discarding mindset for each category of items, starting with clothes, accessaries to gifts, etc. As someone who have not got a lot of clothes or other things, there are only two categories for me to closely examine:
Books
Marie Kondo: For books, timing is everything. The moment you first encounter a particular book is the right time to read it. To avoid missing that moment, I recommend that you keep your collection small.
I have quite a few books which I thought I’d read later but I never did. Following the Konmari method, I discarded most of them and surrounded myself with only books that spark joy.
I have noticed that having fewer books actually increases the impact of the information I read. I recognise necessary information much more easily as I removed all the ‘noise’ from my bookshelf.
Memorial items
Living in London away from home, I have lots items that didn’t spark joy anymore but cannot be thrown away just because they were gifts from friends/relatives. I don’t have a ‘parents’ place’ to house these and have carried them with me every time I move.
However, thinking about it, the purpose of a letter is fulfilled the moment it is received. By now, the person who wrote it has long forgotten what he or she wrote and even the letter’s very existence. As for accessories I received as gifts, I keep them only if they bring me pure joy. …Hanging on to them only adds to distractions.
Free yourself from attachment to the past or fear for the future
Marie Mondo: When we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or fear for the future.
Ask this for every one of these items. As you do so, you’ll begin to see a pattern in your ownership of things, a pattern that falls into one of three categories: attachment to the past, desire for stability in the future or a combination of both. It’s important to understand your ownership pattern because it’s an expression of the values that guide your life. The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life. Attachment to the past and fears concerning the future govern not only the way you select the things you own but represent the criteria by which you make choices in every aspect of your life, including your relationships with people and your job.
In fact, it is not our memories but the person we have become because of those past experiences that we should treasure. Surrounding yourself everyday with only things that spark joy right now is a great way to live.
Decluttering your living space removes distractions and forces you to focus on what is really important. It reduces cognitive load from the moment you wake up which leads to better decision making every day.
