Reading 09: Linus (But Not The One From The Peanuts Cartoon)
I’m trying to learn not to be a hypocrite. One of the things that annoys me most in this world is when people assume to know my motivations of what I’m thinking. So when reading about Linus (by Linus), I was shook when I realized I was sort of doing the same thing. He’d say other kids would play outside while he worked at a computer. My first thought was, “Wow, what an us or them mentality. Are you trying to make out that you’re better than them?” Then I paused and thought about it. Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t.
Linus didn’t spell this out himself, so I don’t really have a place inferring that from his writing. His is the story of a self-proclaimed nerdy boy who spent a whole lot of time on a computer. I care about his story as much as I care about anyone else’s I guess. Something I do like and appreciate about Linus Torvald is that he doesn’t present himself as a god, he presents himself as a man. Other people may treat him as a programming god, but he’s not. Or hell maybe he does have a high opinion of himself, I don’t know him too well. What I’m trying to get at is that I don’t see him like that. He’s not larger than life to me. He’s just a guy. Which is fine. That’s not like a put down or a disappointment. I, too, am just a person. You, reader, are just a person. Linus Torvalds is just a person. He’s not irrelevant. No. No one is irrelevant. But is he inspiring or interesting? Who’s to say? To me, he’s as interesting as the next person. To someone with a t-shirt that has his quote on it, he might be a little more interesting.
Reader, I’m tired. I mean, I am physically tired, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m tired of caring. Okay that sounds bad. I’m tired of over-caring? Is Linus Torvalds a computing luminary like Bill Gates or Steve Jobs? I reject the premise of the question. What is a computing luminary? I mean it’s good to recognize people’s work, but I’m afraid we’re in danger of overdoing it. I feel like this is putting people on a pedestal. Linus Torvalds is as important to the world as Bill Gates as Steve Jobs as Peter Bui as Roann Yanes as the guy that created Tuxemon as Matthew Mercer of Critical Role acclaim as me as you.
My thoughts are again stars that I cannot fathom into constellations, but this blog post is worth 5 whole points so I’ll try my best anyway. I think I tend to be an obsessive person. Specifically with TV shows/movies/actors/actresses I like. Like when I watch a show, I tend to binge-watch it and it’s most of what I talk about for a brief period of time. Case in point: I just saw the trailer for Dark Phoenix. I did not know James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender would be reprising their roles of Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr. As soon as I saw them on screen, my 2014 obsession with X-Men: Days of Future Past came flooding back. I. Fricking. Love. Magneto. Fricking love him. Such a compelling character. Oh my goodness. I can feel that love just rushing through my veins and returning. I had to physically stop myself from looking up Magneto t-shirts to buy today. I have no money for that right now. How do these stars become constellations again? Oh yeah. This type of thinking/behavior is exhausting. And I feel like it can also be found around these tech figures. I’m tired of viewing people as more than mere mortals. It’s too much effort, and honestly I don’t think much good comes out of it.
Was that whole last paragraph just an excuse to talk about Magneto? Probably. Next question.
I don’t find these figures particularly inspiring. Whether or not that’s because they’re all straight, white men?
But also I don’t want to do what they do. Those aren’t my aspirations. Also like, I feel like a lot of them are assholes. I don’t want to be an asshole. That’s my aspiration. I don’t care if my story only consists of a 9–5 job. My story, or what I want my story to be, has never revolved around what I do. It has always, always, always revolved around the people in my life. I want to be good to them. I want to have a positive impact of at least one person’s life. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. I used to want to be a theology teacher. That would’ve been great. But when I google these three guys I get:
Linus Benedict Torvalds is a Finnish–American software engineer who is the creator, and historically, the principal developer of the Linux kernel, which became the kernel for many Linux distributions and operating systems such as Android and Chrome OS.
William Henry Gates III is an American business magnate, investor, author, philanthropist, humanitarian, and programmer. He is best known as the principal founder of the Microsoft Corporation.
Steven Paul Jobs was an American business magnate and investor.
This is super sappy, but I don’t want to be remembered like that. Maybe we’re doing these guys an injustice in how we remember them. This is also super disgustingly sappy but like last year I was talking to some friends and they were making fun of me cause I said Obama was my hero. Then they pointed out that he’s killed people with drone strikes. I didn’t really fact check or don’t know much about the politics of that but they’re probably right. And not that like he’s a bad person, but I don’t want to be someone who made that decision. So I said fine, Peter Bui is my hero. I’m 99% sure he’s never killed anybody with a drone strike. (99% sure. See my first paragraph about how I don’t like assuming anything.) I mean, that was sort of a joke, but also not a joke at all I’m just trying to deflect because I’m feeling too sappy. But that’s basically when I realized that my heroes would no longer be celebrities. They’d just be people. People I know, people I look up to, people I respect. So I can’t say that I want my story to look like Linus’ or Bill’s or Steve’s because I don’t know Linus or Bill or Steve.
I’m tired of assuming I know about Linus or Bill or Steve and giving them flack for what I assume. I’d like my story to be one where people who know me can say that I’m their hero, or at least not disqualify me from the running because I’m an asshole or ordered some drone strikes.
