How can I discipline my kids?
How can I discipline my kids?
My answer
There is a time when our children grow up, and they start the awesome Path to the discover of their own Identity.
So they develop their own tastes, their own thoughts, their own feelings.
It’s the way to the adulthood.
So whenever you see your child to argument and oppose to you, you see he’s becoming stronger and stronger.
And they test their strength and their weakness.
Furthermore your kids test the rules of the Society they live in: the dos and the don’ts.
And you are the adult that teaches them the boundaries of the Society, and you are the force they crush against in order to test their strength.
It’s a role playing game.
There are characters (you and your kids), there are roles and there are rules.
You have to keep in mind all of this when you manage your children oppositions.
It prevents you to collude with their behavior.
and now you are able to find other ways to manage the situation.
Explain rather than force.
Our kids are smarter than we think they are.
They are curious about the Life and the World and, most of all, they ask for meanings (you know their “Why?” game?).
So you explain them what’s wrong, and why.
Children see, children do.
Explanation is pretty useless without the good examples.
And the very good examples are you parents.
Your children seek for examples in order to know how things are done in this world, and they start from the closest persons: you!
Always follow the weakest resistance.
No need to push things to the extreme.
No matter how hard your kids will play the game.
There always will be a key to open the door.
It’s not about Command: it’s about Leadership.
New generations behave different from us.
We were grown up with the unlimited respect in mind.
Our kids are more pragmatic, and they don’t take care of words.
They take care of Trust!
So you don’t claim for respect: you earn it by your everyday actions.
And you don’t expect to earn it overnight: you earn it by a long time made of gestures, behaviors, actions…
The Punishment-Reward Strategy: a double edge sword.
While the Punishment-Reward Strategy may seem very promosing at first (you have a clear frame, a clear sequence of steps to do), it may be a boomerang in the mid-long time.
If you rely on such behavioral approaches, your kids associate the “dont” with the punishment, not with the principle that lays behind.
You don’t want your kids not to behave because of your punishment, you don’t want your kids not to behave because that behavior is not good for the Society.
You always have to think in a civic terms.
Furthermore, what happens when your kids are grown up and become stronger than you? Will they still listen to your punishment-reward strategy? Of course not.
Hope this helps!
Originally published at the Digital Education Tips Google Plus Collection.
Are You Missing Something of Your Kids?
If you feel you are unable to keep the pace with the ever-changing Web, then this FREE Newsletter may help you.
Let me help you.
By subscribing my Newsletter you are going to receive my findings from all of my Social Media accounts…straight to your email address!
Let me be your Digital Parenting Advisor: subscribe my Digital Parenting Tips Newsletter HERE:
